


Winter's Bloom

by emmadilla



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Slow Burn Romance, Some characters are still alive, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:59:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9724964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmadilla/pseuds/emmadilla
Summary: Born a pure-blood, Rue should have led a fairly charmed life. But after her father died when she was young, and her step-father arrived, things took a turn for the worst. When her mother later died and her step-father denied her entrance into Hogwarts, she begins losing hope of ever having a life of her own. But one day, one decision made on a whim makes yet another course change in her life. This time, however, it appears to be for the better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, so, I've been working on this thing for quite a while now, taking it on and off the back burner, and I've finally gotten it to a point where I'm comfortable posting it online without a beta. Comments and love are appreciated, but not required. I just hope that you, dear reader, whoever you are, enjoy this little labour of love. :)

The wind that whipped through Diagon Alley wasn't particularly cold, but I still drew my coat tighter around me, as if shielding me from more than the slight chill. I lowered my head more, letting my dark, curly hair fall further across my face to hide the ugly bruise that had blossomed on my right cheek. I was here to do a job, and I couldn't do that while attracting attention. If I let my face show, I might as well just wear a feathered headdress, and that simply would not do.

I walked casually around the different outdoor stalls, pocketing a few things here and there. I knew they wouldn't fetch much, I would have to go for something bigger, but every little bit helped. The only question was which shop to hit up this time. I had just hit J. Pippin's Potions last time, so I didn't really want to go back there again just yet, though it did usually have the easiest pickings. Wiseacre's was hit or miss, depending on what they had in stock. You could spend a few minutes and knick enough to fetch a pretty Galleon, or spend hours in there perusing junk. I always dreaded going down Knockturn Alley; although some shops held far more valuable things than others in the main shopping district, the shop keepers were always a little more on their toes and observant. I only ventured there when I was truly desperate, though perhaps this was one of those times.

I sighed as I regarded my inner monologue. This wasn't really me, I didn't relish stealing and reselling on the black market, but my stepfather gave me no choice. It was this or loaning out my body, and I think I would rather spend a few years in Azkaban for theft.

A shaft of light emanating from a shop made me pause briefly as I looked up to see where it was coming from. I found myself standing in front of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, the famed joke shop that had once been the cornerstone of Diagon Alley during the Second Wizarding War, when most other shops went out of business. I had never ventured in there before, as I had no idea if it would hold anything of real value, but today something made me want to step in, if only for a few moments.

I was almost instantly assaulted by a flying miniature car. After the close call with my head, it headed straight for a wall of shelves before banking sharply and heading for the ceiling. I'm sure my eyes were wide as I stood there in the doorway, in awe of the fantastical energy of this place. For a moment, I even forgot the reason I was there to begin with. I was simply at one with the moment and the calm joy that slowly blossomed inside of me.

I shook my head to shake myself out of my reverie. As much as I would have loved to spend hours looking at everything – and not just to steal – I had a job to do, and my time was limited by the hours that my dealers kept. I carefully skirted the main floor, careful not to draw attention to myself as I quickly catalogued the various products and decided which ones I should pass on and which ones I should go for. There were silly products that had no real worth, like boxing telescopes and screaming yo-yo's. But things like extendable ears and patented daydream charms were interesting enough to be useful for barter. I also nabbed a love potion – only one, since I wasn't sure how strong it was, and that would determine its true worth – and also some decoy detonators and Peruvian instant darkness powder, keeping in mind the sordid types that frequented my dealers. I contemplated stuffing a box of fireworks under my jacket, but decided it would be too bulky. I had spent enough time in the shop as it was, so I let myself come full circle back to the door and ducked out.

If only I'd had the presence of mind, I would have seen a certain red-haired wizard regard my exit and I would have apparated away on the spot, content to gamble the chance of my wares getting me nothing against me getting caught. But my usual cautious self lapsed for just that moment, and that moment was all that was needed.

I hurried down the street, head down, thinking of briefly hitting up J. Pippin's on my way out just for some insurance on income when a hand suddenly shot out of a side alley and locked on my wrist. I gasped and jumped, looking up to see who it was, and when I saw the familiar lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead, I knew I was done for.

“Come with me.” It was all he needed to say, we both knew it. Mercifully, instead of parading me down the middle of the streets, he guided me down the back alleys to the Ministry office. For this small act of kindness, I was grateful. It was one thing to be a thief caught, it was another for society to know it. There were some criminals who relished that kind of attention, but I was not one of them. I stole only because I had no other option, so I appreciated the discretion of Harry Potter. By the time we made it to the Ministry office, my heart – which had jumped into my throat when he grabbed me – now settled like a rock in my stomach.

The room he led me into was not quite what I was expecting. What I was expecting was a drab grey or brown with stark furnishings. Instead, the walls were a soft, if a bit faded, yellow, and the beautiful carved wood table had a warm quality to it. The chair I was directed to must have belonged to a matching set with the table, as the arms, legs, and back had beautiful vine-like carvings inlaid in them. The scarlet cushion looked slightly worn, but it was still quite comfortable as I slowly lowered myself into it. There were no windows, of course, and I suspected that I wouldn't be able to apparate out of the room if I tried, which I didn't. I knew when it was over, and it was most certainly over.

Despite that knowledge, my heart still pounded in my chest as Potter locked the door and slowly trekked back to the table, eschewing the other chair and choosing to settle on a stool in front of me.

“You might be wondering why an Auror such as myself is bothering with a case of petty crime,” he began. I admit, I was slightly curious, as there were many Magical Law Enforcement officers that could have been dispatched to pick me up. “Fact of the matter is,” he continued, “That shop you just stole from happens to be owned by very good friends of mine.”

_Good thing or bad thing?_   I immediately asked myself, as I always did when new situations presented themselves. My heart sank for a moment before I realized that this was potentially a very good thing. If I had stolen from good friends of his, he would be more inclined to come down hard on me. Maximum sentence was five years … surely my stepfather could self-destruct in that time and leave me free to be once I got out.   _Free._   What did that even mean anymore?

“Show me.” That simple command, soft as it was, held a hard edge of authority behind it, and I immediately emptied my pockets of everything, including the few things I had picked up before I entered Weasley's. After all, if I was going to be sent to Azkaban, I would be searched anyway, so no use in trying to hide anything now. He silently regarded the items I had set on the table before he fixed me with a question. “Why?”

I bit my lip and lowered my head. Even if I could speak, I could never tell him what was really going on. That my stepfather forced me to steal to support his illicit habits, that he had no hesitation in beating me if I didn't do exactly as he said, that I was in an inescapable cycle with no way out, no hope. Even if I could speak … which I wasn't even sure I could do anymore. My stepfather had long beat the voice out of me. I hadn't said one word in years; I didn't know if I even could anymore, I hadn't even tried in so long. I felt anxiety every time I thought about it. Would anything come out at all? But it was a worry I pushed away, as there were always more pressing matters at hand.

Potter kept talking, but at this point, I blocked him out. Even if I could spill my soul, would he even care? Likely not, no one ever did, so why should anyone start caring now? I just burrowed inward and let him ramble. I had learned long ago that people were going to do what they wanted anyway; I accepted this and gave up without protest, focusing on the pattern in the wood table and blocking out everything else so that the feel of the seat cushion, the rough quality of my coat, and even Potter's voice seemed distant and fuzzy.

Suddenly, Potter slammed his hands on the table right in front of me, jerking me out of my haze and making my head snap up. For a brief moment, my hair fell completely to the side, revealing my whole face, including the bruise over my cheekbone. I could tell from the look on his face that the sight had startled him and I quickly looked down again, letting my hair fall over my face, not even pausing long enough to see how he would react. I squeezed my eyes shut, my heart suddenly pounding hard in my chest, making it ache so bad I wanted to rip my ribs apart just for the relief. I don't know why I was suddenly so anxious, but in that moment I truly wanted to melt into the floor. What came next was completely unexpected.

I instinctively flinched hard when I felt a warm hand on my chin and my eyes popped open to see that he stood in front of me, leaning down so we were on eye level. He withdrew his hand when I flinched, but after that initial shock, he reached out again, this time simply moving my hair to the side to reveal the right side of my face.   _What are you doing? Just throw me in Azkaban, already!_   But Potter was a Wizard, not a telepath, and so my silent wish went unregarded.

“Who did this?” This question completely threw me for a loop. This wasn't relevant to my case of theft, so why did he care? No one had ever cared before. My eyes darted around the room, not sure what to do. Never before had I been so completely out of my element.

He seemed to regard my silence as an answer of sorts. He wordlessly dropped his hand and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I could hear the locking mechanism click and my heart clenched in my chest.   _Good thing or bad thing?_   I asked myself again, but this time I had no readily available answer, and that scared me more than anything.

Since there were no windows in that room, and no clock, it was impossible to judge time. I couldn't be sure how long I sat in there on pins and needles. It could have been hours, or it could have simply been a few minutes. My stomach did a somersault when I heard the lock click again, and this time Potter entered the room with another man.

The older gentleman had longer hair and distinguished, though greying, facial hair. There was a softness about his presence, though, as if every movement he made was deliberate and gentle all at the same time. I focused on the floor again as he approached me. Unlike Potter, he knelt in front of me and set a hand on my knee, though I instantly flinched again, unable to stop the reflex. He also withdrew his hand and, like Potter, simply reached up to move aside my hair. My eyes shot up just for a second, but I found my gaze lingered on him. His face was kind, and it stopped any further actions of mine. I hadn't seen such a kind face directed at me in years, not since my mother passed, and I eagerly drank it in.

After a few moments, though, the intensity of his gaze was too much and I had to look away. I heard the rustle of parchment and looked up to see that he set a blank piece down on the table in front of me, along with a self-inking quill. When he spoke, his voice was just as gentle as he seemed to be. “Will you tell us who did this to you?” he asked, motioning toward the parchment and quill. Even though I could have very well given up my stepfather this way, my eyes widened at the thought, and I clenched the seat with my hands. The man paused a moment before he asked, “Will you at least tell us your name?”

This question shocked me slightly. He wanted to know my name? While I would never give out my last name – Winter was known to be a respected, pure blood name – I eventually decided that my first name would be harmless. My hand shakily reached out and grasped the quill. With a deep breathe, and with every nerve I could muster, I carefully traced out the letters.

_Rue_

I pushed the parchment back towards him and he picked it up to see what I'd written. “Rue?” he asked in verification, and I nodded. “My name is Sirius Black. Do you have a last name, Rue?” I firmly shook my head, solidifying my earlier decision not to reveal my last name, especially to another pure blood. He nodded and then stood up, turning and walking out the door, Potter following behind him wordlessly.

I felt like my anxiety was going to swallow me whole. I was now completely at a loss, adrift on a sea of uncertainty without even a friendly breeze to guide my sail. My hands shook as I clenched them in my lap, worry gnawing in the pit of my stomach. I felt nauseous and I longed for some fresh air just to keep the queasiness at bay.

Finally, after what seemed like forever again, Potter and Sirius Black entered the room again. This time, Potter spoke. “You're free to go.”

This now sent me into a tailspin of confusion. He was just letting me go? A thief, caught in the act, stealing from his friends? I didn't know what to do, but they physically ushered me out of the room and the office itself and back into the street. I stood there for a moment, unsure of everything now. I looked back briefly to regard them standing in the doorway before I apparated away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Some violence/abuse in this one. Proceed with caution if it's triggering to you.

Soft twilight was setting in as I apparated to the little copse at the edge of the country road. My heart sank at the realization of the time set in. Had I the time, I would have done a quick, though risky, sweep of J. Pippin’s and whisked away the goods to my dealers, but even if the alchemical store were still open, my dealers were long gone by now, and I was left to face the wrath at home with nothing to show for my day.

As I was contemplating this, I could have swore I heard a crack, as if someone had apparated somewhere near me. I turned around and peered into the shadows of the woods, but after a few moments searching I could see no movement.   _I must just be hearing things,_   I figured as I turned back towards the road and started on the stretch that would take me to my house.

The place I had apparated to – which I had dubbed my “hiding spot” merely because it was a place I felt I could gather my thoughts before entering the hellish realm I normally lived in – was a little shy of three miles from my house. If I was in a hurry, I could always apparate closer, but I tried to leave myself this little window of time where it was just me and the trees and the wind and no worries nor troubles to weigh on my mind. It was these precious minutes that I cherished, that I lived for nowadays.

But there were times where the worry bled through and spoiled even a moment like this. My stepfather would be very angry that I was coming home empty handed, especially because I was so good about bringing him what he wanted. I honestly wasn't sure what he would do to me, but what I was sure of was that it wouldn't be anything good.

My heart cinched tighter in my chest with every step that I took, and soon my childhood home loomed in the distance as I turned the final corner of the path that led up to the front door. The path diverged to allow for a tree right in the middle of the yard, but it had long since died from neglect and it now just slumped there, it's low-hanging branches rustling pitifully in the wind. I remembered back to my childhood, when it was strong and healthy, and I used to climb it and see how far I could peer into the distance.

The coming of my stepfather had seemed to signal a blight onto more than just the tree.

I went around the house to the back door that led to the kitchen, as per my usual routine. I never went in the front door anymore. He had made it clear that this was his house, and the front door was reserved for himself and his friends. Everyone else – namely, me – was relegated to the back door. I quietly climbed the few steps and paused on the stoop, my hand poised to grasp the door handle, my nerve to enter the house suddenly wavering as a wave of anxiety washed over me. I didn't have time to steel my nerves, however, as the door was yanked open and there he stood, the large, hairy, skulking brute of a man that was my stepfather, Tyren Finch.

He large hand grabbed my shoulder and he yanked me inside, slamming the door closed. “Well?” he asked, turning his gaze toward me, waiting for me to hand him the results of my thieving.

But this time, all I could do was shake my head. His presence instantly changed from wholly indifferent to downright intimidating. “What? Didn't you get anything?”

I shook my head again, the anxiety building in my chest until I thought I would scream just to release some of the tension.

He took a few deep breaths, clenching his fists and closing his eyes, and I started to get genuinely scared. He was rarely rendered speechless, he always had something to rail on me about, so for him to go silent meant that something else was in play that I was unaware of.

He moved so fast I almost wasn't aware he had until he had the fire poker in hand and was swinging it at me. I stumbled backward as it connected with my ribs, tripped over my feet, and ended up sprawled on the floor, but that didn't stop his onslaught. I was always and forever grateful he never used the Cruciatus curse, but that was of little comfort when the hard iron connected with my ribs and I felt – rather than heard – something crack. I always tried to not cry in front of him, as it always made him more aggressive, but I couldn't help the sobs that broke through as he wailed on me, releasing his pent up rage.

The poker clattered across the room as he tossed it and I flinched at the harsh sound of iron striking wood and then stone as it tumbled onto the hearth. He reached down and snatched my right wrist, twisting it as he yanked me up, and though I didn't feel or hear anything snap, a sharp pain shot through my wrist and arm and made me cry out.

He was indifferent as he simply pulled me across the floor to the basement door, not caring that the sudden pain of movement caused me to stumble. I focused on footing as we descended the stairs, not wanting to stumble into him and make him even angrier. He still said not a word as he threw me into the small room I called mine and locked the door.

The twilight that had been setting in had now deepened into night, letting in little more than starlight through the small window. I slowly crept on my hands and knees – using my left hand to support my weight and my right hand to feel – to the side of the mattress that I called my bed. I felt around for the matches that I hoarded between the mattress and the box I used as a bedside table and was soon rewarded with the find. My injured wrist wouldn't allow me to light one, so I had to work to coax the action out of my non-dominant hand, and soon it flamed to life. It almost went out as my hand shook with the adrenaline that was still pumping through me, but I managed to touch flame to wick and the room soon had a soft glow from the candle that currently sat on my little makeshift table.

When I was a child, my room had been a large one on the second floor. My mum had decorated it whimsically and the curtains were almost always thrown aside so it was always full of light. One of my favorite features had been the set of french glass doors that opened onto a small balcony. It was a nice little escape that I used frequently to read and daydream.

Now, however, I was relegated to a small storage room at the bottom of the basement steps. There was no light here, except what filtered in through the tiny window near the ceiling and the candle that I kept bedside. Such a stark contrast, almost like it was a wholly different life.

But I had little time to worry about such things as I carefully crawled onto the bed, laying on my left side so as to not aggravate my ribs and my wrist. The pain circled my ribs and arched across my back like little fingers, and I certainly didn't want to exacerbate my predicament.   _At least he didn't kill me,_   ran through my head, followed by,   _Of course he didn't, you're still useful to him. He keeps things that are useful until they aren't anymore._   Of course, how useful I would be after this would be questionable, but I didn't allow myself to think about that just yet. For now, I was still alive, and that was enough. I let myself cling to this as I watched the shadows reflected on the opposite wall dance in the candlelight.

I didn't remember drifting off, but I must have as I awoke with a jolt. After hissing from the pain of the jarring motion, I heard the reason I was torn from sleep, which it sounded like the floor directly above me was going through an upheaval. There were shouts and curses being thrown around and bangs as they connected – though with their target or with an unintended object, I couldn't say. It sounded like a war zone above my head. Terror clenched at my heart as it pounded out of control. I couldn't even begin to wonder what was going on, and though I suspected one or more of my stepfather's grimy underworld associates, I had to wonder what he did that made them retaliate like this. I wondered briefly, almost automatically, if I had caused it, when it hit me.

It _was_ me. That morning, my stepfather had been more insistent than ever that I score today. And not just a small pittance, something big, something substantial.

And I had come home empty handed.

Had I caused him to miss a deadline of sorts? Was that the reason for the tussle currently going on? Once I turned this thought over in my head, the more plausible it seemed.   _Good or bad?_   I seemed to be asking myself this question a lot as of late, but I seemed to be getting nowhere in terms of a real answer.

Something of the scale of what was happening meant that this wasn't a mere spat, that something serious was happening. How badly were they going to hurt him? They'd come down pretty hard on him before, left him bedridden for a short stretch once, but it never sounded as dramatic as this. They weren't going to … kill him, were they? Well, they certainly weren't having a tea party.

And if they did, what would that mean for me? They had no quarrel with me, but with the type of people they were, they left no witnesses, not even a mute girl. And they knew all too well about me, my stepfather loved showing off his cruelty. My fate slowly took hold of me, and I realized that as soon as they were done with him, they would come for me. Tears started stinging my eyes and rolling down my cheeks as I grappled with my fate. My life may not have been much, but it was still my life and I didn't want anyone to take it from me like this. I tried to take solace in the fact that whatever they would do to my stepfather, they would end me quickly, seeing as I was simply an afterthought to their wrath, insurance that no fingers would point in their direction.

As the war raged on above my head, I tried to suppress the sobs that wracked my body – rather painfully, considering my ribs – but I couldn't help the strangled sounds that made their way out of my throat. I closed my eyes as I tried to be at peace, wishing that I had my mum's necklace to hold on to as I faced my death. That was really the only comfort I could draw on, that at least I would be with my mum again, and I clung to it.

Finally, the war came to an end, and it seemed almost eerily silent. My shuddering breathe seemed so loud in the quiet space of my room. I heard some footsteps and voices, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. What would they be saying, anyway? My heart trembled at wild possibilities, but I couldn't bring myself to focus on any of them. After what seemed like an eternity, I heard slow, deliberate footsteps descend the steps. I clamped my hand over my mouth to suppress the whimper that threatened to escape. I wondered if I should even open my eyes when the door was opened, if I should even look at the person who would end me, if I even wanted to see that green flash envelope me, but my body's reaction decided for me when my eyes automatically flew open as the lock clicked and the door swung open.

But what I saw was definitely not what I was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger, but chapter 3 is currently being edited and should be out shortly! And it will hopefully explain a few things that have been happening "behind the scenes", as it were. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, I hope y'all didn't suffer with the cliffhanger too much. :) After this I have one or two more chapters of material to edit and post and then I'm writing from scratch, but thanks to posting this I'm quite inspired to keep going with this.

Instead of one of the enforcers that I expected to be standing in the doorway, it was the older man from the Ministry office, Sirius Black.

A few tears slipped down my cheeks, born more of confusion than anything else at this new strange turn of events. My mind went into a tailspin, unable to properly interpret anything else that was happening. I think that was the reason I remained relatively calm for a while, the whole shock of it all.

Sirius traversed the short distance from door to bed and knelt in front of me. He held out his hand and simply said, “Come with me, Rue.”

As my mind went to join the fog, my body simply complied. I sat up slowly, at the insistence of my ribs, and after a moment's pause I grasped Sirius' hand and allowed him to help me up. I held my right arm close to my body, not wanting to jar it as we climbed back up the stairs and into the kitchen.

What greeted me there was the war zone, and it definitely looked that way. Cupboards hung open, the doors on their hinges or even completely removed and laying on the floor. Pots and pans, plates and cups were strewn all over, hardly one unbroken. The table was upended and the chairs scattered, a couple of them smashed to pieces. I stood there for a moment, taking it all in, the shock not allowing anything to register other than the simple thought,   _Damn, this is going to take a while to clean up._

A gentle tug on my arm got me moving again and I mechanically followed, the tears that had previously so freely fallen now drying on my cheeks, making my face feel tight. Sirius seemed to sense that I was not quite in a completely coherent state of mind and so he was extra gentle with me, for which I was eternally grateful. I felt like I was outside of my body at that moment, simply an observer of the events that were currently unfolding instead of a participant. I fixed my eyes on a certain point as we drew closer to it, the point at which the charms that my stepfather had put on the house ended, charms which prevented apparating in and out. I knew that once we reached that point, we would leave this place, my childhood home, and I had no idea when I would next see it, or if I would ever get a chance to come back and collect the few things I held dear.

Perhaps it was the shock of what was happening, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to worry about that as we stepped over the invisible line and Sirius gripped my arm tightly, taking me with him in side-along apparition.

Upon reapparition, I immediately doubled over in pain. The tight, squeezing sensation was brief, but it was enough to make my ribs feel like icy-hot daggers. My vision sparked as I tried to suck in a decent breathe in between the stabbing pains radiating through me.

Once the initial pain subsided and was replaced by a dull, throbbing ache, I blinked my eyes to clear them of the haze and the stars and found myself in an alley in London. It seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Once it was apparent I was able to move again, Sirius gently tugged on my arm to lead me to our destination. I followed stoically beside him. Even if I could speak, I would have been rendered speechless by everything that was happening. I still didn't quite know what had happened back at my home, but Sirius had yet to say a word since he'd asked me to come with him.

We only walked a couple of blocks before ducking down another alley and walking around the back of what looked to be an abandoned department store. Once we reached a certain point at the back of the building, we stopped, and he held out his wand, reaching out to tap the bricks in a certain area in a certain pattern. Once tapped, an outline of an entrance glowed, though no bricks moved aside. Undeterred, Sirius replaced his wand inside his coat and simply pulled me through the wall.

The other side of the wall was wholly different from what one would expect by looking at the outside. A soft glow lit the short hallway we were in, terminating in a much more brightly lit room. Almost as soon as we reached that room, an older woman dressed in a white robe greeted us. She called Sirius by name and then stopped short at me and simply stared at me a moment, almost like she'd seen a ghost. After that moment, the startled look was replaced by one of gentleness as she reached out to me and implored, “Come with me, dear.”

I looked to Sirius for direction, utterly lost, and he nodded and nudged me toward her. My left hand shook slightly as I placed it in her soft one and let her wrap her arm around my shoulder. I wasn't really so sure about this as I looked back at Sirius as she led me away. The only emotion I could really detect in his face was calm, and I wished desperately to have some of that calm as my heart began beating wildly as we rounded a corner.

The older lady ushered me into a small room and as she turned around to close the door, the fog that surrounded my mind suddenly lifted and I almost physically gasped at the result. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest and I started breathing faster and faster. I felt like I might fall over or be sick or possibly both. I felt hands nudge me forward and guide me to the bed to sit down. I think I heard her say something to the effect of, “Wait just a minute.” But, in my current state, I couldn't really be sure. I heard her rummaging in the cupboard behind the bed and after a moment, she pressed a cup full of a creamy looking liquid in my hand.

Normally, I was a little wary of healers and potions, but my current situation was far from normal, and so I brought the cup to my lips without hesitation. The creamy liquid, despite undoubtedly being a room temperature cupboard, was warm and delicious. It tasted like every childhood sweet I'd ever enjoyed all condensed into one drink. By the time I had finished it, my heart had slowed back down and my breathing was relaxed, though I was still a bit light headed and also felt somewhat impaired. “A calming drought,” she explained as she took the cup from me. She stood me back up as she took off my coat. “My name is Altheda,” she continued. “I'm a healer here at St. Mungo's.” She kept talking, I suppose trying to distract me, but my mind needed no help with that as I kept zoning in and out. She undressed and redressed me in a cream-colored shift as if I was a child, but I judged that I would be fairly inept at helping her at this point so I just let her do what she wanted.

She then sat me back on the bed and eased me onto my back, which wasn't easy to do with the sharp needles of pain still ever present. I couldn't help the whimpers that escaped me as she pushed and prodded me in examination; besides my ribs and my wrist, I had quite a few other tender spots as well and bruises everywhere, including a handprint on my right upper arm from earlier in the day, the same time he gave me the bruise on my cheek.

Thankfully, it was over soon. As she wrapped my wrist in a bandage to help keep it steady, she explained, “You have a few broken ribs, but those are easily mended. A sprained wrist is a little bit more difficult, but I can help. You'll still be quite sore, but it will only last for days instead of weeks.” I nodded, trying to get a grip on everything but not quite succeeding. My head fell to the side and I fought to keep my eyes open. Between the exhausting, nerve-frying events of the day and the calming drought, I felt that sleep was imminent. Altheda's hand stroked my hair as she said gently, “Go ahead and sleep, dear. Rest is the best thing for you.”

That was really all she needed to say and I finally let go and allowed myself to sink into blackness.

When I started coming around again, I felt uncomfortably hot. A nice, thick blanket had been placed over me and I felt like I was cooking. I shifted to let it partially fall off of me and was greeted with the relief of cooler air. I opened my eyes and instantly closed them again against the bright shining of the sun. Sunlight streamed in through a window in the corner, bathing my bed in its light. No wonder I had been warm. I brought my arm up to partially cover my eyes as I gingerly opened them again. At that time, Altheda came in with a tray and smiled when she saw I was awake. “Ah, good, you're awake. It's time to eat, dear.”

She helped me into a sitting position and propped me up with some pillows so I could eat. It probably wouldn't be considered much by most people's standards, but it was wonderful to me. Potato, cheese, and onion soup and buttered bread. I didn't even remember the last time I'd had butter. I tried to eat as slowly as possible, to savor it, but I was so hungry I ate quickly anyway. Altheda had only just finished her potion check when I gulped down the last of the pumpkin juice. “Finished already?” she half-laughed as she gathered the tray. “Now, there's a couple of Ministry gentlemen who would like to talk to you,” she told me. She fixed me with a stare that almost seemed protective as she said, “You don't have to let them in if you don't want to, you know, if you don't feel up to it. If you need more rest, let me know.”

I shook my head. In all honesty, whatever was going to happen, I wanted to go ahead and get it over with quickly.

 

Altheda nodded in acquiescence as she scuttled out of the room. I wasn’t waiting long before Sirius Black and a shorter red-haired man walked through the door. He was probably around the same age as Black, with greys scattered here and there in his hair, though his face was still fairly smooth. He looked almost familiar, but I couldn’t place where I might have known him. If anything, it was likely before my father’s death, which was almost a lifetime ago.

 

Sirius sat down in a chair already at my bedside as the other pulled a chair up that was sitting beside the door. As they settled into their chairs, Sirius spoke. “Rue, I suppose you have quite a few questions about what has happened since yesterday.” I nodded, and he continued. “I will try my best to answer what I can. I will also need to ask you some questions as well, is that okay with you?” I nodded again, and he gave a small, though genuine, smile. “Good.”

 

I didn’t even have to ask anything as he launched into his retelling of the previous day and night. Potter had come to him, concerned about the welfare of a thief he’d captured, wanting his counsel. Black had had his suspicions about who I was when he first entered the room, and I all but confirmed them when I gave him my first name. He’d known my mother for many years, my father to a lesser extent. He’d last seen me when I was about a year old, but he knew who Potter’s thief was.

 

Once out of the room, he implored Potter to not throw me in Azkaban right away. If I was anything like my parents, he knew I was not doing what I was doing willingly. Potter agreed to turn me loose with a tracking charm so they could follow me once I apparated away. Potter had fetched his invisibility cloak so they could follow me with no risk of being seen. _So I did hear someone apparate behind me after all._

 

They’d followed me carefully down the road, though they had to stay far enough behind me so I wouldn’t hear them. The arrival at my home confirmed what Black already knew regarding my identity. They’d had to stay so far behind me, they missed my stepfather’s run with the fire poker. But after a little searching through windows, they found my stepfather pacing in the study. They recognized him, as he was wanted for a couple of petty infractions, so they withdrew to notify a few Ministry officials for backup before going in for him. It was a wise decision, as my stepfather did not go down without a fight, as evidenced by what I heard and later saw.

 

Once they had taken him in and Black had gotten me out, however, a more detailed sweep of the home uncovered the possibility of more illicit activities going on than they had previously thought. This was later all but confirmed by an attempted ambush later in the night, an ambush that was meant for my stepfather but that met only Aurors. Seven enforcers were now in custody. My stepfather’s associates had spared no expense to take care of him.

 

Which brought Black to his request of me. “Rue, we think your stepfather is connected with some very nasty people. While we understand your predicament, you are so far still liable for your actions prior to last night. However, we’re certain that immunity could be granted, if you give us as much information on your stepfather and his friends as you have.”

 

I nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. Even if immunity wasn’t granted, a stint in Azkaban was surely nothing compared to life under my stepfather’s thumb. That would be freedom compared to my life before. My sore ribs and wrist reminded me even more of how vulnerable and afraid I’d been with him.

 

I decided it was time for him to feel a little vulnerable and afraid, himself.

 

I took the parchment and quill from Black and wrote one question.

 

_What do you want to know?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have quite a bit of editing to do with the next chapter, but it should be up fairly soon! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)

The better part of the afternoon was spent outlining the different people I knew of and their relationship to my father, along with various and a sundry things I’d witnessed them do. I knew more than anyone likely suspected. Nobody seemed to notice me much, either because I was small and easy enough to miss or I was mute and quiet. What exactly they could use in court would be up to someone else. I was intent on giving them everything I had, to nail the proverbial coffin shut on my stepfather.

 

The sun was starting to set as I finally set down the pad and rubbed my eyes, a headache starting to form from the strain of trying to remember every little detail of the past 15+ years. I hoped it would be sufficient for them, though Sirius seemed quite pleased with what I was able to write down. For good measure, he’d also taken strands of memories from certain events, so they could later be used in a pensieve to verify that my memory was true and not tampered with.

 

As he gathered up the papers and bottled memories that Arthur had labeled so they could be easily sorted, he informed me, “I shall report these immediately, however I think it best to leave an Auror here with you. If everything you’ve written and remembered is true, I would be afraid for your safety.”

 

Mr. Weasley interjected. “Ludo Trimble has been vying for some overtime as it is, so I think he’ll be very happy to know that his services are needed.”

 

“Happy or not, we will need him,” Sirius replied as he fastened his satchel full of evidence and looked me in the eye. “Now, I don’t want you to worry, but I’m sure you have some idea of the trouble you could be in if your step-father’s associates knew what you are doing. If you should need help, Ludo will be outside the door, and he is more than capable of handling anything they might try to send your way. After the healers release you, we will arrange for you to go into protective custody, until it’s safe enough.”

 

_When will that be?_ I wrote on a piece of leftover parchment.

 

Sirius sighed. “Unfortunately, I don’t have a straight answer for you right now, and I can’t promise it would be anytime soon.” I’m sure I looked crestfallen as my heart sank at the realization that even though I was now free, I wasn’t really going to be truly free for a while yet. “But,” he added, “What I will promise you is that the Ministry of Magic will do everything it can to ensure your safety and to handle this case as quickly as possible so you can have a normal life.”

 

I met his eyes and, while I’d had many broken promises issued to me over the years, I felt I could trust the earnestness in his eyes.

 

The room was quiet when they left, the only noises coming from people coming and going in other rooms down the hall. I laid back on the bed for a bit, not tired enough to sleep yet but lightly dozing as the room was bathed in orange light as the sun continued to set. Altheda was back before too long with dinner, which I hungrily finished before she was done with her room duties so she could take it back as she left.

 

“If you need anything, dear, just let me know,” her voice chimed as she lit a couple of candles as she left.

 

I nodded and watched the candle light bounce against the walls. It was hard to believe that just last night I was doing the same thing in my small room in the basement. Just last night that I was still effectively imprisoned by my step-father.

 

Just last night that my life changed forever.

 

_Good or bad?_ I pondered. Well, it certainly seemed good for now. Whether it would stay that way … I couldn’t say. I was tired of thinking and worrying, but it was all I knew to do after so many years. I hoped that I could unlearn those habits eventually. For now, though, I stayed awake for some time yet, thinking and wondering and worrying and running scenarios through my head until my mind could finally take it no more and it surrendered to sleep.

 

The next couple of days passed by with about the same rhythm, minus the questioning. I was glad I was able to rest; it was something that I truly did not get to experience before. Altheda brought me a copy of The Daily Prophet every morning so that I could have something to read throughout the day, thought a lot of the articles disinterested me. I had been out of touch for so long, I no longer even knew who the Minister of Magic was, much less the subjects of the articles I would read. I did notice the name Ginny Potter in an article about the Quidditch team the Holyhead Harpies and I wondered if she was related to Harry Potter in some way, as the surname didn’t seem to be very common.

 

Ludo Trimble also formally introduced himself. He wasn’t very tall, but he was a hulking and intimidating figure nonetheless, his dark skin accentuating the wrinkles in his forehead that made it look like he was perpetually scowling; I could tell that he was not someone to be trifled with. Not that I planned on it, of course, but it did make me feel safer to know he was watching over me. Because I was mute and therefore couldn’t call out to him if he was needed, he chose to sit in my room, as opposed to outside my door, just to make sure his eye was kept on me. I didn’t mind, I knew the risks I was taking and I knew the consequences if caught by certain underworld associates.

 

As Altheda had mentioned on my first night at St. Mungo’s, within a couple of days I was feeling almost completely better. My broken ribs had healed and my wrist, though weak, didn’t have the same constant shooting pains in it. There wasn’t anything more that could be done for it, as tendons and ligaments were harder to heal than bones, so I was going to be released, which meant that I was going into protective custody, yet another type of prison.

 

I sighed, trying not to feel too bad about it as I slowly redressed in the only clothes I had. After all, I wouldn’t have to contend with my step-father or any of his ilk again. It just felt a little depressing knowing I would be essentially imprisoned in whatever safe house the Ministry dumped me in. I wondered if Ludo would come with me or if I would get another Auror (or, potentially, Aurors, as Ludo seemed to count for several).

 

After I redressed and sat back down on the bed, I still had to wait until we got the go ahead to go to the safe house. It wasn’t until night had just started to properly settle in that I heard a loud crack near my bed. I jumped up in alarm, my heart racing until I saw that it was just a House-elf, and a peculiar looking House-elf at that, as his wardrobe - instead of being the usual sackcloth that other House-elves wore - was a random hodge podge of clothing that seemed literally thrown together. He smiled gently at me before he spoke to Ludo, “Harry Potter wanted me to inform you that the safe house is ready, and to give you this.” He held out his hand, which contained a small piece of parchment, and waited until Ludo had opened and read the parchment. “Is there anything you need to me relay to Harry Potter, Master Ludo?”

 

Ludo shook his head. “This is all I need. Thank you, Dobby,” he said as he dismissed the House-elf, though I could have sworn I saw a small smile on his face as he watched the Elf disapparate.

 

He then turned to me. “Since I know where you’re going now, we can leave whenever you’re ready.”

 

I nodded and stepped toward him, grasping his arm so he could take me with him in side-along apparation.

 

This time the apparating was not as painful as it was when Sirius did it before, though my wrist did twinge in protest as we materialized on the dark street. I didn’t recognize it, but Ludo seemed to know what he was doing as he quietly whispered, “Lumos.” Immediately, the tip of his wand glowed bright, casting light where the dim street lamps didn’t reach. “Alright,” he said to me as he handed me the small piece of parchment, “Now, to get into this place, you need to read this first.”

 

I threw him a curious, puzzled look, but I did as instructed and opened the small slip, upon which one sentence was written.

 

_The safe house can be found at 12 Grimmauld Place._


	5. Chapter 5

I looked up from the piece of parchment, puzzled because I had only seen an 11 and 13 on this street. I jumped as I heard loud cracks and bumps rumble through the earth, and I looked around us, wondering if anyone else heard it, too, but it seemed nobody did as no one came rushing out of their home to see what was happening.

 

As I looked at the space between 11 and 13, I saw a house expanding and growing in between them, creaking and groaning into existence until it finally fully appeared. I raised my eyebrows, my jaw gaping in awe of the extent of the magical charms in place. My step-father had always thrown some spells on the house - including an anti-apparition spell, for me, so I couldn’t just leave when I wanted to - but I’d never seen such extensive and powerful charms on display before. It was truly some handiwork to behold.

 

Ludo nudged my arm and we stepped forward, up the steps and to the stoop, which hadn’t been there a few minutes before. “Now that you know this house is here, it will always appear to you, and if you need to apparate away or apparate back here, for whatever reason, the first place you can do so is this stoop right here, and no one who doesn’t know this place is here will see you.” I nodded, filing away that bit of information for later, though when I would even be allowed outside to apparate anywhere was still up in the air.

 

Satisfied that I’d understood what he’d told me, Ludo raised his large fist and knocked heavily on the door himself, despite the fact that an ornate door knocker was hanging there, available for use.

 

To my surprise, Sirius Black opened the door and welcomed us in, ushering us in and taking our coats before directing us into the kitchen. “Molly was kind enough to make us a meal. She, erm, is aware of my deficiencies in the kitchen,” he said, a light pink tinging his cheeks.

 

“Heh, I was planning on stopping by the Leaky Cauldron to grab a bite, since your bloody cooking is shite,” Ludo said rather bluntly, “But I can’t pass up a chance at a Molly Weasley meal.”

 

A large cauldron with a wonderful savory smell emanating from it was set off by the fire, just close enough to keep the contents warm without boiling it too much. It was some sort of hearty stew, full of chucks of meat and potatoes and carrots with a thick, rich gravy.

 

I ate quietly as Sirius and Ludo discussed schedules and shifts in between bites of stew and bread. Sirius wouldn’t be able to stay home all day - I confirmed through conversation that this was, in fact, his house - and while the charms and spells on it were exhaustive, he didn’t want to chance leaving me alone. Ludo was more than up for coming in as needed, as long as he wasn’t needed elsewhere. He threw out a few names of Aurors he felt comfortable in recommending Sirius to get in contact with, and Sirius - ever the studious gentleman - wrote them down so he could look them up when he went to the Ministry. For now, it seemed, he planned on spending the next couple of days at home, and so when Ludo was done, they stood up and shook hands, and Ludo collected his coat and exited through the front door, a loud crack signifying his apparition.

 

I couldn’t help it, but after spending a few days with him, I felt a bit attached to him, and so I felt a little sad that Ludo had to go so soon. I hoped it wouldn’t be long before I could see him again. He was a rock that I felt comfortable being supported by, something I couldn’t ever remember having before.

 

Sirius did seem rather trustworthy, though, so I supposed it could be much worse. After we finished dinner, he guided me upstairs and to a spare bedroom that I assumed I would be staying in. “This room used to belong to my brother, Regulus,” he told me as he opened the door. He seemed to understand the unspoken question I held in my pointed expression and he continued, “He died many years ago. He was a Death Eater, though he turned right before his death, trying to undo the deeds he’d done.”

 

I nodded. Being pure blood, there was always a chance of being related to a Death Eater in some way, since quite a few pure blood families had intermarried. If I recalled correctly, a distant uncle - or was he a cousin? - of mine had worked for the Dark Lord in his regime, but I didn’t know what had happened to him. My family had remained relatively small and so our family tree wasn’t as spread out as the Blacks and the Malfoys and even the Lestranges.

 

As I lay in bed, a single candle burning on the bedside table, casting shadows on the canopy above, I couldn’t help but wonder about the man whose bed I currently occupied. The picture in the corner showed a bright, handsome young man with a brilliant smile, but as I well knew, appearances were deceiving. My mind wandered, thinking and wondering until eventually it ceased and I slipped into a light rest.

 

I woke up with a start, drenched in cold sweat. I panted heavily until the vivid images eventually faded into the background and I reoriented myself. _I’m in the house of Sirius Black. My step-father was taken into custody several days ago. I am free._ But I didn’t quite feel fully free as a bit of anxiety lingered from the nightmare. As I took deep breaths, calming myself, I heard some bumping in the kitchen below.

 

I froze, my heart racing again, and I strained to hear any little sound that might make its way up to my room. I heard footsteps, and something opening and shutting, but I didn’t hear anyone come up the stairs. I carefully got out of bed and tiptoed across the hall to the room I saw Sirius disappear into before I closed my door. I released the breath I was holding as I opened the door to find it empty, figuring that Sirius was the one downstairs.

 

I still took care to not make any noise as I descended the steps, stepping into the light of the kitchen to find Sirius standing at the fire, his back to the door, tapping his foot as a cup sat on the table beside him. A loud, creaky spot on the floor alerted him to a presence, and he spun around to find that it was only me. He smiled gently as he spoke, “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

 

I shook my head. If anything I was glad to be awake and away from the nightmare I’d just had.

 

He nodded. “Can’t sleep?”

 

I shrugged. I was plenty tired - especially after the large meal - but with the disturbing imagery still fresh in my mind, sleep did not seem to be a welcome solace.

 

“Would you like a cuppa, then?” He offered, and I nodded. I’d always loved having tea with my Mum, though I supposed that was probably the last time I’d gotten to sit down and enjoy it.

 

Soon enough, the water on the fire boiled and Sirius poured the water into the two cups, letting the tea steep while he fetched some sugar. “Milk?” he offered, and I accepted, watching the dark brown turn into a light beige as the two mixed.

 

He excused himself from the table for just a moment, leaving his tea as he promised to be back after he fetched something. I took a small sip of piping hot tea as I waited, the mug warming my hands nicely.

 

Sirius was soon back, after fetching some parchment and a self-inking quill. “I figured it would be quite rude to just sit here in silence.”

 

I smiled and took them, arranging the parchment and quill to where it would be comfortable for me to write and for him to read without having to shuffle it back and forth between us.

 

“So,” he started after he took a quick sip of tea, “What keeps you up tonight, then, if I didn’t wake you?”

 

After a sip of my own, I wrote down in reply, _Bad dreams._ I paused for a moment before adding, _What about you?_

 

“Ah, Mistress Sleep and I have a bit of a rocky relationship. Sometimes we are on good terms and I sleep peacefully. When we aren’t on such good terms … well, then I have a cup of tea.” He raised his mug in salute before taking another sip. “So, bad dreams? What’s troubling you?”

 

_A lot of things, I suppose. So much has happened just within the past week …_ I trailed off, tapping the other end of the quill on the paper, not really sure what else to say. What else was there to say, really? My whole life, as pitiful as it had been, had been completely upended. Where there was once certainty - even though it was a bleak certainty - there was suddenly troubling uncertainty. That question I kept asking myself, good or bad, I had given up trying to answer that question. I felt like I didn’t truly know anything anymore. The possibilities, while I’m sure could be exciting and thrilling, to me was intimidating and scary. How does one rebuild a life from the ground up?

 

Sirius seemed to sense the direction my thoughts were going as he said, “You know, I remember your mother quite well. We were good friends when we were younger, and I was very sad to learn that she had passed. She loved you very much, though I only was able to keep in touch with her for a year or so after your birth, you were all she could talk about. You encompassed every aspect of life for her. I don’t know what caused things to go so far downhill after I last spoke with her, but I do know that right now, she would be very excited for you. I know things are very much up in the air for you right now, but it will settle down. And when it does, I think it will end up being much better for you.”

 

I nodded, taking a deep sip of tea. It had cooled down nicely now and I could take big gulps without instant regret.

 

He smiled and added, “I know it’s hard to believe that now, but looking back I think you may see it differently. And if you ever feel you need to talk, you can always come to me. I’ll always keep some parchment and a quill handy for you.”

 

I smiled for probably the first time in a long time at his offer. I didn’t really know or understand what motivated him, but I sensed genuine care and concern in him. This was pretty unusual for me, and I wasn’t really sure how to take it, but a small part of me wanted to trust him fully and just accept whatever help he would offer. However, a greater part of me screamed to be cautious and to not just take him at face value, based on past experience more than anything else. I bit my lip, internally conflicted as to what to do and how much to trust someone. I hadn’t trusted anyone in a long time. Would I ever be able to again?

 

He finished off his tea at about the same time I did, and he added, “If you aren’t comfortable sharing just yet, I understand, believe me I do. Just promise me you won’t forget that the offer is always there.”

 

I nodded. That much I could promise.

 

After our mugs were deposited back in the sink for now, he guided me back up the stairs and to my temporary bedroom. “Now, please do try to get some sleep. If you need anything, and I mean _anything_ , I will be across the hall.”

 

I nodded, smiling slightly as I closed the door, heaving a big sigh as I rested my head against the door, thousands of thoughts swirling around in my head. After a few moments I returned to my bed and laid down, the terror of the nightmares having worn off, and I felt like I could go back to sleep. I laid in bed for only a few minutes before the feeling of the warm tea helped lull me back into a more restful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is the end of the pre-written stuff I've been editing, so from here on the updates might not come as quickly, and I do apologize for that in advance, but I will do my best to update as much as I can!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a filler chapter, sorry, but I have some things I wanted to do in the next chapter that I didn't want to split up, and would have made this a little longer than I'd like it to be. So, until the next update, I hope this helps. :) My next update will be my Avengers/Captain America fic, which will hopefully be by the end of this weekend if everything works out like I want, and then I can work on the next chapter for this.

The next week passed by painfully slow. While I was no longer commanded to take part in illicit activities as I once was, which was a nice relief, I was still effectively held prisoner at Grimmauld Place. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything outside of the house, and while it was nice and spacious enough, it wasn’t long before it started to feel cramped.

 

The day after I arrived, Sirius had sat me down to ascertain my level of education. My mother had efficiently homeschooled me until her death, but she hadn’t taught me any magic so as a result, I had little knowledge beyond that of a first year student at Hogwarts. I’d gotten to read some magical history from our library, until my stepfather discovered I enjoyed reading and burned every book in the house he could get a hold of. I’d managed to save a few, but I had carefully tucked them into a safe hiding spot, along with a few other precious mementos, and hadn’t dared touch them since for fear he would discover them.

 

While I didn’t have a wand, Sirius had reckoned it would be helpful to go ahead and learn the theory behind certain things, so he’d pulled some books from his personal library and lent them to me to study. There were ways that a witch or wizard could still officially graduate, even if they never set foot in a school, and he felt - and I agreed - that my best chance for making it in the real world was to obtain that as soon as possible. While not exactly the most entertaining reading, some of it was rather interesting and I knew it would be helpful once I could actually get a wand.

 

As a result, most of my days were spent diligently studying, taking notes, and learning whatever I could from the books that Sirius provided. I hadn’t seen Ludo again yet, but every day before Sirius had to leave for his work at the Ministry, an Auror would arrive and stay until Sirius returned. They were friendly enough, but they mostly sat and either read The Daily Prophet or listened to the radio as I curled up on the opposite couch with the books and parchment and quill.

 

I only took a break from studying on Sunday, at Sirius’ suggestion in order to prevent burn out. However, I ended up not really knowing what to do with myself, so I just wandered a bit from room to room, lounging and daydreaming and trying to not go insane from lack of activity. Even when I was forced into the criminal life, I still got to get out and breathe fresh air and stretch my legs. Though I was technically free, I actually felt more restricted than I’d ever been before. I didn’t say anything to my gracious host, however, as I didn’t want to seem ungrateful. I really was thankful for his intervention, I was just frustrated as I felt so close, and yet so far, from true freedom.

 

On Tuesday evening that next week, after he came home and dismissed the Auror for the day, he approached me as I sat on the sofa, surrounded by my accumulated studying detritus. He pulled up a stool to sit on as he addressed me. “So,” he said, “I just wanted to give you an update on how the case is going.”

 

My ears perked even more. Advancement of the case meant a step closer to true freedom, and I was eager to learn anything new.

 

“There has already been a preliminary hearing, it was held the day after your stepfather and his associates were captured. Tomorrow, the Division of Magical Law Enforcement will present its evidence against them and allow for any rebuttal. That is where you come in …”

 

My brows furrowed, wondering exactly how I came in, and he proceeded to explain.

 

“Normally, any witnesses would be cross-examined at this point. However, due to your condition, that will not be possible. In lieu of cross examination, those memories we took from you that afternoon at St. Mungo’s, along with a sworn statement, will suffice.”

 

I nodded, and pulled over a piece of parchment to ask, _What do I need to sign? Can I do it now?_

 

He shook his head. “No, your statement signing must be witnessed by the court. We have prepared it for you based on the information you gave us, but you will need to go to the Ministry to review and sign it.” He leaned forward. “That’s why, tomorrow, I will need you to accompany me to the Ministry.”

 

A wave of anxiety washed over me. Even though I was going to be able to get out of the house, the idea of going to the Ministry - where my stepfather and others would undoubtedly be - left me feeling paralyzed. I suddenly felt myself wishing for months of self-imposed imprisonment in exchange for this.

 

I’m sure my feelings showed quite well on my face, as Sirius added, “Don’t worry, I will be with you the whole time, and I’ve tapped Ludo Trimble to meet us at the Ministry, just as an added precaution.”

 

Knowing Ludo would be there did make me feel a little better, but an underlying web of anxiety was still weaving its way through my gut regardless of the assurance.

 

As Sirius got up, he added, “Ah, yes, I almost forgot … Mrs. Weasley will be coming over this evening for a visit. She’s bringing you some clothes and some other things that I think you may find helpful to have. I … don’t quite have the woman’s touch when it comes to these things, unfortunately,” he acquiesced with chagrin.

 

I blushed and grinned a little, a little embarrassed at the prospect of the visit. It was true, the outfit I was scooped up in was threadbare and obviously old and worn, and the couple of clothes donations that had been nabbed for me so far was rather plain. Not bad at all, very comfortable actually, if a little big on me, but far too casual for a visit to the Ministry.

 

In preparation, I gathered the scattered parchments around me and carefully bookmarked and stacked the few books I’d had open and took them all up to my room to store away until the next time I dragged them out to study. It was perhaps a good trait that had stuck after my liberation, as my stepfather had always insisted on the house being sparkling clean at the drop of a hat. This was difficult as he was a naturally messy person, so this lead to me constantly spot cleaning and straightening up just to try to stay ahead of him. As a result, the former room of Regulus Black was now immaculately clean. It wasn’t exactly dirty before, but it was a bit cluttered as it had turned into a bit of a catch all type of room. Within the first couple of days of living at Grimmauld Place, I had completely turned it around into a proper guest bedroom, fit for the Minister himself if need be.

 

After I stored away my papers and books, I took a moment to regard myself in the mirror. Before my rescue, I had been underfed and malnourished for so long it showed in the pallor of my skin and the way my bones protruded from my body. I had often worn layers to try to counter the effect, and it seemed to succeed as I didn’t stick out any more than necessary. After the past week and a half, I had started to put on a little weight, and my skin colour - though still dreadfully pale - was starting to show signs of life again. After almost a lifetime of a forced lifestyle, it would take weeks, months probably to undo all the damage. But I could see it start to turn around, and it was encouraging.

 

I heard the door knocker echo through the house as Sirius yelled out, “Coming!” That was presumably Mrs. Weasley; it felt odd to be gifted anything by the mother of people I’d tried to rob, so different from the world I was used to. It would definitely take some adjustment. I took one more glance at myself in the mirror, hoping that the light pink jumper didn’t hang off me too much and as I tucked my long hair behind my right ear and left the room to meet this lady whom, before now, I’d only known by the pleasure of her cooking.

 

As I made my way carefully, almost silently, down the stairs, Sirius was greeting a boisterous older woman with a shock of curly red hair. Even though they were likely close in age, the way she batted at him and talk to him was more like a mother to a son. Not in the harsh sense, just in the way she asked how he’d been eating, how _I_ had been eating, scolding him for working too hard and asking him when exactly he was planning to retire from being an Auror. Sirius seemed used to this treatment as he gently and light-heartedly countered her every concern as he took her coat and hung it on the coat rack.

 

She then noticed me standing on the stairway, a bit awkwardly, and she immediately, without question or pause, pulled me into a hug.

 

I was so surprised I didn’t even flinch as her arms circled me and pulled me close to her. I stood there for a second, unsure what to do or how to react - how long had it been since I’d been hugged? I couldn’t say - but if she noticed she didn’t say anything as she pulled away and looked me in the eye. “Now, I’ve got some things for you I think you’ll appreciate, and I’ve also got a nice dinner for you and Sirius. He’s already prone to skipping meals, now I have to make sure you both get fed!”

 

If I could have spoken, I would have defended Sirius, saying that since I’d been staying that neither of us had skipped any meals, but she moved from the subject quickly as she turned to Sirius and asked, “Sirius, would you be a dear and take those to the kitchen for me? It’s all still nice and hot, it just needs to be set out. And while you’re doing that, I’ll tend to Rue.”

 

I felt a bit overwhelmed as she pulled me back up the stairs and into my bedroom. The last woman who had given me her undivided attention had been my mother, and the way Mrs. Weasley was acting gave me a bittersweet pang of heartache, remembering her.

 

She pulled out a bag that must have had an undetectable extension charm on it, because there was otherwise no way to fit in everything that she ended up pulling out. Dresses, stockings, socks, underwear, jumpers, pants, even some sleepwear and a robe and a proper brush and hair ties and other girly essentials. They were all second hand, but they were far nicer than anything else I’d had for so long they might as well have been brand new. I ran my hands down the kitten soft texture of a jumper as she prattled on, a tear making its way down my face. If I’d felt a little overwhelmed before, I was wholly disconcerted now. Everything that I’d previously known about the world, been taught by hard experience, told me that this shouldn’t be happening right now. And yet it was. This woman, out of the goodness of her heart, was gifting me things I needed with no thought of repayment, even after what I’d done. I was touched, I was confused, I was starting to feel a whole mess of feelings I don’t think I’d felt in a long time.

 

She paused as she noticed my tears and asked, “Is everything alright, dear?”

 

I didn’t even quite know how to react, but I pulled out a spare parchment and quill from the desk and wrote what I could muster in reply, _It’s just … overwhelming. I don’t really know what to say, no one’s ever done something like this, not for a long time. Especially after I tried to steal from your sons, I truly don’t deserve this …_ I trailed off, not knowing what else to add as I handed her the parchment.

 

I looked away, letting my hair hang in my face as she read what I’d wrote. The next thing I knew, she had enveloped me in another embrace, pulling me so close to her that I could hear her heart beating. I was a bit confused at her reaction, but it felt comforting, so alien and unfamiliar and yet welcome. After squeezing me extra tight, she lifted my chin so she could look me in the eye. “Listen to me, Rue, no matter what anybody else says, you _do_ deserve this. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, but no matter what you’ve done or what anyone has done to you, you are not evil. You are not bad. You were desperate and you did what you had to do because you had no other choice. But, when presented with an alternative, you grabbed hold of it. And even though it’s overwhelming, you are doing your part to right whatever wrongs you’ve done. And _that_ , to me, says you deserve a lot more good in your life than you’ve had.” She smiled as she added, “And I’m more than happy to oblige. In fact, so are my sons, but that’s another subject for another time.” She let me go as she continued, “Now, that’s everything I have for you, and Sirius should have everything set out and ready for dinner, so let’s go get something, shall we?”

 

I nodded as I wiped an errant tear from my cheek and followed her downstairs. This lovely, kind woman had struck me deep into my soul. Her words blanketed me in comfort that I gladly reveled in, something I could just barely remember ever having before. I hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time I saw her.


	7. Chapter 7

That night I drew a bath, in preparation for presenting myself to the ministry the next day. It certainly wasn’t the first one I’d taken since coming to Grimmauld Place, but it was the first that I was going to allow myself to relax into, as I felt I needed to try to calm my nerves and get myself mentally prepared for what was to come. Mrs. Weasley had brought a nice little bag of scented soaps, and I’d selected a lavender one for tonight, thinking it would help me wind down and sleep well.

 

As I lowered myself into the steaming water, my muscles - sore from the constant sitting and hunching I’d been doing over books - seemed to sigh in relief. I leaned against the back of the tub for a few minutes, drinking it in. Before my rescue, I’d never been allowed the luxury of a bath. The only thing I could get away with was a bucket for a quick hair wash and scrub up, usually with cold water. I’d had a nice claw foot bathtub in my own bathroom before, not unlike the one I currently occupied, but of course I’d been forbidden from using it as my stepfather didn’t want me getting used to little luxuries. That was around the time he’d banished me to the little closet at the bottom of the stairs in the basement, right after my mother’s death. He’d barely tolerated me before, but afterwards he could target me with his full malice with no interruption from anyone else.

 

I took a breath and ducked under the water so I could fully wet my hair. I gently separated the curls and they surrounded my body in ebony tendrils, like a dark hole trying to swallow me up. I resurfaced, going for a shampoo that had been among the Ministry’s donations. It had a lovely peach scent and it lathered so well I only needed a little bit, even for my mane of hair. I ducked under the water once more to rinse, making sure when I surfaced that no suds remained in my curls.

 

I grabbed a clip from the stand by the tub and pulled my hair up so it wouldn’t drop into any suds as I laid back for a little bit more, still relishing the feel of the warm water surrounding me. I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the sensation, wrapping my arms around me as I let my mind drift and wander, not focusing on any one thought or feeling in particular, just letting it drift as it may.

 

Even though the water wasn’t cool yet, I could feel when the initial heat had worn off, and I took that opportunity to wash myself before the lukewarm chill cut through the rest of the water. The lavender soap was in the shape of a small flower and lathered easily. The scent was surprisingly strong for such a small soap and I wondered if it had any additional calming effects aside from the lavender as I almost instantly felt even more relaxed.

 

Once the suds were washed away, I pulled the plug from the drain and carefully stepped out onto the rug. After I dried myself off, I wrapped the towel around me and released my hair from the clip, using another towel to gently dry my hair from sopping to damp. Instead of wrapping my hair in the towel, as I normally would have done, I stepped in front of the mirror and wiped off the little bit of fog that had accumulated on it. My eyes settled on the scissors that I’d set on the counter before I looked back up to my reflection in the mirror. My hair had grown far too long for my liking, and while I didn’t want to cut it all off, I was in a desperate need of a good trim. It currently hung somewhere around my hips and along with it being curly it was far too much to keep up with.

 

I separated several different sections and tied some small bands around where I wanted to cut - a little past my shoulder blades, taking into account shrinkage from my curls drying - and after one last look, I closed the blades around the hair.

 

My head felt much lighter when I was done, and I regarded the results in the mirror. It looked pretty even as far as I could tell. At any rate, my curls would compensate for any slight error made in cutting. I focused in on my face, measuring out a long fringe to hang on the sides of my face. I made the cut around the top of my cheekbones, giving a slight variety to my hair, make it look a little layered, in a way.

 

When I was done, I regarded my handiwork and actually gave a small smile. It felt a little liberating, in a way, to cut away something I had used so often as a shield. I still had a ways to go, so much to deal with and come to terms with, but this felt like a step in the right direction.

 

The next morning, I was up early so I could go with Sirius as he normally left for the Ministry. Out of the clothes that Mrs. Weasley had brought me, I selected a dress with blue and yellow flowers, along with oatmeal coloured stockings and a similarly coloured cardigan that was almost as long as the dress. Sirius had given me some sort of polish that had completely revived the brown boots that I’d had before, and so I opted for the familiar, worn-in leather to the nice black flats Mrs. Weasley had given me which, while I was sure looked very nice, may not have been as comfortable. I pondered for a moment if I should do much with my hair, and I eventually decided to pull the sides back. The bruise that had been on my cheek when Harry Potter had initially detained me was still there, though it was fading. For some reason, I no longer felt ashamed of it, and so concealing it didn’t concern me any longer.

 

Breakfast was a quick poached egg with toast before Sirius led me outside to the front stoop before taking hold of my arm so we could apparate to the Ministry. I was a little apprehensive, as I’d never been to the Ministry before. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but it seemed we apparated in a fairly normal hallway. All along the hallway sat various alcoves, and I was puzzled for a moment before I saw people appear in them, either by apparating or by floo powder. I realized it must have been a hub of sorts as Sirius guided me down the hallway, his hand gently resting on my shoulder. The hallway terminated in a bright rotunda that almost made me gasp from the scope of it. It seemed taller than what was possible, given the space, and in the middle was a calm reflecting pool, mirroring the ceiling and surrounding floors.

 

Almost as soon as we step foot in the atrium, a familiar and welcome figure appeared to my right. I almost jumped from surprise, but couldn’t help the smile that formed at seeing a familiar face. “Sirius,” Ludo Trimble acknowledged with a nod before turning to me and in similar kind, “Rue.”

 

“Ah, Ludo, good to see you. You’ve been keeping quite busy lately, haven’t you? Taking out some rather high profile targets in the Dark Wizarding community from what I hear.”

 

He grinned, but even his smile seemed somewhat menacing as he replied, “Well, you know I can’t talk about that, but let’s just say my work lately has been quite _enjoyable_.” He cracked his knuckles to emphasize his point as Sirius snorted, shaking his head.

 

Sirius and Ludo walked on either side of me as we made our way to the golden elevators so we could reach our final destination. A rather severe looking woman was checking visitors wands in, and I suddenly felt self-conscious for not having one. My mum had slipped hers to me about a month before she died. I think she knew the end was near and wanted me to have it, though I didn’t know what to do with it, so I ended up stashing it for safe keeping. Since I hadn’t had an opportunity to go back to the house, however, I hadn’t been able to retrieve it yet. When we finally stepped up for our turn, she accepted Sirius’ and Ludo’s credentials without question, and then asked me for my name, where I was headed, and to hand over my wand.

 

Sirius didn’t leave me hanging as he instantly replied, “Her name is Rue Winter, she is a witness due before the Wizengamot, and she has no wand to surrender.”

 

She seemed a bit surprised, but narrowed her eyes at me. “No wand, eh? Squib?”

 

I shook my head in reply, swallowing hard as I felt my cheeks redden in embarrassment.

 

Ludo spoke up this time, frustration clear in his voice. “Look, you ol’ bitty, she’s a witness accompanied by two high-level aurors. If you think she poses any danger to me alone, not even counting my mate, Sirius, here, I think you’re due for a change in duties, if you get my drift.” He leaned forward as he continued, “I hear they’re looking for more janitorial labor in the Department of Mysteries. Seems one of their lot up and vanished one night while moppin’ the floors. Not a trace of him left, aside from his mop and bucket.” His smile looked downright dangerous as he added, “Y’know, I know a bloke in the Magical Reassignment Office. I’m sure they’d be happy to set you up with a broom and mop …” There was a sharp edge to his tone that almost made me flinch and made the security witch back off, letting us through to the elevators without further hassle.

 

We didn’t have far to go, it seemed. When the elevator announced, _Level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services_ , Sirius gave me a nudge and we all got off the lift.

 

As we walked down the nondescript halls, Sirius checked his pocket watch for the time and announced, “We are a bit earlier than expected. I suppose we can wait in my office until our appointment time.”

 

Ludo growled beside me and asked, “We can’t just go earlier and get this over with?”

 

Sirius hesitated for a moment before replying, “We could, however the defendants will be present, and I don’t wish to subject Rue to that kind of exposure.”

 

Ludo grunted in reply, conceding the point. I looked up at him apologetically, wishing I had a way of telling him that I was sorry for inconveniencing him, but I hadn’t thought to bring any parchment with me. Ludo noticed and gave me a wink and a flash of a dangerous smile. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Ludo gets paid either way.”

 

Our path took us into a crowded atrium full of desks with roomed offices beehived around the room. The desks in the middle of the room seemed to belong to lower level aurors, or perhaps their assistants, while the offices had name placards that seemed to denote higher positions. Sirius led us down an intersecting hallway and stopped one office before the end, his name engraved in curly letters on the front of the door.

 

His office was a bit messy, papers strewn across his desk and piled on the floor. He hurriedly grabbed a couple of piles sitting on chairs so we would have something to sit on. He smiled as he apologized for the mess. “Being an auror is more than just field assignments, unfortunately.”

 

Ludo didn’t miss a beat as he quipped, “Which is exactly why I don’t plan on going any higher. The work is fun, but the paperwork is bullshit. I’m quite happy where I am, thank you.”

 

Sirius chuckled as he haphazardly placed the stacks of papers on his desk. No sooner had he finally loosely organized the precariously placed piles than there was a knock on the door. “Yes? Come in.” Sirius called out.

 

A rather nervous looking young wizard opened the door, looking quite out of place in the midst of aurors, and squeaked out, “Um, Miss Quirke from the Department of Magical Data Collection needs to speak to you, urgently.”

 

“Catriona?” he asked, seemingly a little taken aback. “She already knows I’m behind on some of my records, she’s given me extensions on everything.”

 

The young man shrugged and swallowed hard. “She didn’t tell me why she needed to speak with you, just that she needed to and that it was urgent.”

 

“Then why wouldn’t she just send an inter-office memo?” Sirius inquired, referring to the magicked paper airplanes that whizzed all over the place.

 

There seemed to be a slight tremor to his voice as he replied, “I suppose she wanted to make sure you received her message immediately, sir.” Sirius nodded slowly and the young man added, “She emphasized that it was very important that you come see her at once when you got in this morning.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Sirius acquiesced. “I’ll be right along in just a moment.”

 

The young man nodded and continued to stand in the doorway, as if waiting for Sirius to follow him.

 

Sirius, however, didn’t seem to be having any of that nannying as he told the man rather firmly, “You’re dismissed.”

 

The young man jumped and said, “Of course, sir, I’ll tell Miss Quirke you’re on your way immediately.”

 

“Yes, I will be.” He wanted until the door was closed and slowly walked to the door, putting his ear up to the door. He pulled out his wand and cast a quick spell I was a bit familiar with from my stepfather - _Muffliato_ \- before he turned to us.

 

“It’s a trap,” Ludo announced immediately, not even waiting for Sirius to say anything.

 

Sirius nodded. “I suspected as much. Catriona is too organized to ever need an intern to send an urgent message like that. She has memos planned out months in advance, even accounting for witches and wizards who wait until the last moment to reply and turn in paperwork.” Sirius heaved a heavy sigh and asked, “So, do you think I should go?”

 

Ludo thought about it for a moment and then nodded. “Yes. If there is someone trying to get to Rue, then they have inside help. If you refuse to fall for their ploy, they’ll know we’re onto them and could disappear. If we go along with it for now, we could potentially expose a weakness they’ve been exploiting, likely for a while now.”

 

Sirius nodded. “Do you think you can handle anyone who comes for her by yourself?”

 

Ludo barked in laughter. “Sirius, you wound me.” He flashed that dangerous smile again. “If they want to challenge me, I welcome it.”

 

“Very well,” Sirius replied, giving it no further discussion as he seemed to trust Ludo implicitly. He turned to me and said, “Don’t worry, Ludo will protect you, and with any luck, along with putting away your stepfather and the enforcers we caught that night, we may be able to seal a hole in the ministry.” I swallowed hard and nodded, my heart rate increasing as I tried to outwardly remain as calm as possible. He put a hand on my shoulder in assurance before he added, “Catriona’s office isn’t too far, I’ll be there and back in a flash. I promise. Just be prepared and stay behind Ludo.”

 

I nodded and, just like that, he was out the door, leaving it slightly open on purpose. Ludo used that moment to put his eye to the crack in the door so he could observe the hallway. I stayed in my seat, nervously fidgeting, awaiting … something, though I wasn’t sure what.

 

Within a few minutes of silently watching, I saw Ludo stiffen. I knew that he now saw somebody approaching, presumably somebody that should not be there. He turned to me and hissed, “Get behind the desk.”

 

I didn’t hesitate for even a moment as I sprung from my chair and dove behind the desk as Ludo backed up to stand behind the door, wand at the ready. I peered over the top of the papers littered across the top as, above the noise of the den from the offices all around, I heard a set of slow, deliberate footsteps. Soon, a shadow appeared underneath the door. The shadow hesitated as the person stood there a moment, perhaps scoping out the area or listening for anyone inside before the door slowly began to open and my heart stopped in my chest.

 

Instead of just waiting for the person to enter, Ludo took control by grabbing the door from the other side, pulling it toward him, and then slamming it into the rather large gentleman who stood in the doorway, taking him by surprise. The man stumbled back almost into the hallway, but Ludo grabbed him and threw him into the office. His momentum flung him into the front of the desk, jarring all of the delicately placed piles of paperwork and sending them sliding onto the floor. I winced, feeling genuinely bad for Sirius as he would have to rearrange everything again. Even though he was messy, for him it was an organized mess, and he could always find what he needed. After this, though, he was definitely going to have to spend a few days going through everything.

 

I’m sure Ludo could have simply stupified the guy and left it at that, however he went in and threw a punch before grabbing the assailant by the shirt collar and demanding, “Who are you? How did you get in here?”

 

I could practically _feel_ the sneer in the man’s voice as he replied. “She’ll never get to the Wizengamot. There are too many of us.”

 

Ludo’s face twisted in fury before he replied, his voice low and vicious, “You don’t know me well, do you?” He didn’t give the man a chance to answer as his fist shot out again and knocked the man out.

 

Others might have thought it curious how little Ludo relied on magic, as most wizards and witches used it for almost everything short of wiping their own bum, but as he’d mentioned once while I was still in St. Mungo’s, he was muggleborn and so grew up without magic in any way until he received his letter. Even nowadays, as an auror, he still preferred to use practical, physical means to take out opponents, rather than depend on his wand.

 

He still accepted the value of a wand, though, as he held his up and looked me in the eye, calmly saying, “We better move from here, we’re stuck in a dead end. We can head for the Wizengamot hearing, Sirius will follow us. Just stay behind me and keep your eyes open.” I nodded, moving from behind the desk to duck behind Ludo’s tall, wide frame. I thought he was going to lead me out immediately, but he paused and said, “And Rue, if it gets too heavy, and I tell you to, be ready to apparate back to the safe house.” And with that, he carefully stepped toward the door and peeped down the hallway before tentatively stepping out into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger, I hadn't initially planned to leave this chapter hanging like that, but I kept writing and writing and it was getting to be on te long side so I decided to end it. I hope you enjoyed it anyway! :)


	8. Chapter 8

The hall was quiet as we made our way back to the main hallway, the only sounds we heard so far were the rustling of parchment and the whooshing of interoffice memos overhead, interspersed with random chit-chat from Ministry employees. I strained my ears, trying to see if I could hear _anything_ that would mean someone was about to attack. All was calm, however, as we passed the entry to the Auror office. In fact, it seemed like nobody had heard the commotion in Sirius’ office and everything was just business and usual. For some reason that unnerved me more than if everyone else had been on edge. We paused for only a moment before slipping into the main hallway, trying to hurry along as much as possible. “Keep an eye out behind us,” Ludo whispered to me as we made our way down the hall. He had concealed his wand inside his coat, but he had his hand on it, ready to whip it out if he needed it.

 

I felt like a sitting duck as I nervously kept looking back, especially when other witches and wizards passed us. I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard someone say, “Ah, Ludo! Glad I ran into you …” I whipped around to see a fairly familiar face. I hadn’t seen him since I was at St. Mungo’s, but I remembered Mr. Weasley.

 

Ludo nodded as he looked around, “Arthur. What can I do for you?”

 

“Well it’s not so much what you can do for me but rather a message I needed to pass on to you. The Wizengamot has been reconvened in the Department of Mysteries instead of Courtroom #5. Something about a threat received?”

 

Ludo growled. “More like a bigger opportunity to strike.” His narrow, dark eyes flicked to me and then back to Mr. Weasley. “They already waylaid Sirius and somebody tried to attack us while we were in his office.”

 

Mr. Weasley’s eyes widened. “No …”

 

Ludo nodded. “Yes.”

 

Mr. Weasley sighed as he closed his eyes. “We suspected they might try something before she could give her testimony, which is why she was put in a safe house and guarded by Aurors night and day. But in the Ministry itself?”

 

“They are desperate, because you’ve made them desperate. We need to get her down to the Department of Mysteries immediately, then, we can’t waste any more time.”

 

Ludo reversed course and started making his way back towards the elevators. I followed directly behind him, and Mr. Weasley followed behind me. We tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, but a few passing witches and wizards gave us a second glance as we walked silently in a line, rather than a talkative group like everyone else. I had a feeling we would stick out no matter what we did, so I stuck as close to Ludo as I could as we walked into the elevator.

 

The doors had almost closed when we heard someone call out, “Wait!” I was a bit surprised when Ludo actually held the door, but actually felt a bit relieved when Sirius squeezed himself in, followed closely by a middle-aged witch with large glasses and a high, tight bun. “Good,” he said as the doors closed. “I was hoping I would catch up to you.”

 

“How did the diversion go on your end, then?”

 

“About the same as yours,” he replied. “Somebody tried to ambush me right outside Catriona’s office. He was easily apprehended, thanks to Cat, here.” He nodded in the direction of the witch who was accompanying him. “I was on my way to number five when I heard it was changed. Did that just happen this morning?”

 

Arthur nodded. “I just received word. There was some threat issued against the Wizengamot and apparently they felt it was genuine enough to move to the Department of Mysteries, which they felt would be better to deter anyone.”

 

Ludo chuckled. “It’s a trap. I’d bet anything there’s going to be a little welcoming party waiting down there for us. The Wizengamot may feel safer, but Rue is more vulnerable getting there than she was upstairs.”

 

“Agreed,” Sirius pulled his wand out of his coat. “Wands at the ready, eh?” Everyone drew their wands, the notion of even trying to pass by inconspicuously tossed to the wind. “Rue, stand back in the corner please, I have a bad feeling that they may try to act as soon as possible.”

 

I nodded as I stepped back, allowing Mr. Weasley and Ludo to block me in as we descended. It wasn’t but a few minutes later before the elevator stopped, dinged, and the overhead voice announced, _Department of Mysteries_. My heart felt like it was pounding in my throat as it seemed to be an eternity between the floor announcement and the elevator doors actually opening, revealing a darkened hallway before us.

 

We stood there for only a second before I heard a curse mumbled in the dark and saw a light from a distant wand throw it at us. Sirius expertly deflected it back towards its target, and while I didn’t hear it hit, I did hear somebody scramble. The deflection caught them off guard, they weren’t quite prepared for how ready we were from the start.

 

Ludo and Catriona flung a few spells and went back and forth with the stranger for a few minutes before Ludo eventually got the best of them and was able to hit them with a paralyzing spell. The rest of us gingerly stepped out of the elevator, and the doors closed, leaving us in the darkened space, the quiet almost deafening. “Come on,” Ludo said. “That can’t be the last of them, we need to hurry.”

 

Stealth was out the door as we ran as fast as we dared down the hall, passing by the paralyzed wizard. Anxiety was building in the pit of my stomach with each footfall, wondering just how much further we had to go, and if we would truly even be safe once we got there. As much as I had longed and yearned to go outside during my time spent at Grimmauld place, I would have given just about anything to be there right now, my nose buried in a book, making notes on whatever seemed relevant to the subject I was reading, instead of running through the Department of Mysteries, wondering if a random curse was going to fly out and hit me and end my life before I could pick up the pieces and live again.

 

Sirius almost ran into the next curse, flung from the shadows. He stopped short just in time for it to go whizzing past his face. Catriona countered it just as quickly and got into a duel with a witch who emerged from a darkened alcove. “Go on, I’ll finish this!” she shouted and I glanced back at her one last time as we continued around the corner, hoping she would be okay.

 

“It’s right up ahead, just at the end of this hallway!” Sirius exclaimed as he deflected another curse.

 

“Right,” Mr. Weasley said, stepping up. “Go ahead, then, I’ll take care of this.”

 

“Arthur …” Sirius started to protest.

 

“Don’t worry, just go!”

 

Sirius didn’t stop to protest more as he continued down the hallway. I kept right on his heels, looking around wildly in each direction as Ludo covered us from behind. My heart felt like it was about to explode from pounding so hard as Sirius reached the door and wrenched the knob, throwing the door open.

 

The members of the Wizengamot straightened suddenly in their seats, seemingly surprised at how we rushed in, panting. I’m sure they probably expected a bit more dignified entrance, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care as I stood there, breathing hard, feeling like I was about to sweat out of my skin in my sweater.

 

The middle aged dignified wizard sitting at the podium immediately asked, “Sirius, what is the meaning of this?”

 

Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but I tugged hard on his sleeve as I noticed a vaguely familiar wizard sitting on the side of the court start to stand up. Time seemed to slow down as Sirius met my gaze and then followed it to the standing wizard, who was reaching into his robe. A memory flashed in my mind, back several years ago, the last time my stepfather had crossed his underworld friends. Along with a set of enforcers who beat the point into my stepfather, this wizard in particular had accompanied them. What was it he had said? _I do the talking, they do the beating …_ something like that. I didn’t know who he was, but the sight of him had scared my stepfather, and if anything scared my stepfather, it was bad. How had he gotten into the Wizengamot? As our eyes met, I knew he remembered the last time we saw each other. We had stared down each other in a similar way, only this time there was a menacing edge to his cold, grey eyes. Menacing and desperate. I wondered briefly if he was surprised to see us there, if he had been bargaining on me being dead by now. It certainly seemed that, since I’d made it this far, he’d been planted there to finish it.

 

I heard Sirius shout something and saw a flash of a spell fly past my arm and hit the wizard straight on as he raised his own wand. The spell hit him by surprise as he stood there paralyzed, his face screwed up mid-incantation, somehow making the dark crags in his face deeper. I whipped my head around to see Ludo with his wand raised.

 

The wizard at the podium sat there shocked. “Ludo! What did you do?” he demanded.

 

“Oh just prevented the death of our witness for the fifth time today, Minister,” he replied nonchalantly. “You know, _my job._ ” The sarcasm dripped off the end of his words as he kept hold of his wand, though he let his arm drop to his side.

 

“My apologies, Minister,” Sirius interjected. “I’m afraid we’ve had a difficult time getting here today. It seems that sequestering our witness has only made them desperate enough to try to strike here, at the Ministry, even at the cost of their cover, like our friend here.” He nodded toward the paralyzed wizard as he still stood there, his wand drawn and his face frozen in a nasty scowl. I jumped as I heard the door open behind us and so did Ludo, who instantly raised his wand again, but we both relaxed as we saw it was just Mr. Weasley and Catriona Quirke joining us again. Catriona’s brown hair had fallen out of its previously neat bun in chunks, hanging around her face as her glasses had slipped down her nose. Mr. Weasley’s coat pocket hung off his coat, just hanging on in place as it had nearly been ripped off somehow. They nodded to the Minister and filed in behind us, keeping a grip on their wands.

 

“It would seem that way,” the Minister murmured, eyeing the Wizengamot mole before turning toward us. “In that case, let’s not waste any time, then. I have the prepared statement here for Miss Winter to review before she signs it.” He held out a large piece of parchment and Sirius nudged me forward. I swallowed as I stepped forward, feeling vulnerable in the open space of the room. I had to trust that Sirius and Ludo and the others would be watching and would act if someone tried to act now, but trust was so hard to give.

 

My hands shook as I took the parchment from the Minister and, after glancing around for a moment, began to read it. It seems they had composed the statement mostly using my handwritten notes and answers that I’d given in the hospital. I was surprised that whoever had written it had been able to keep my own tone, so that even though it wasn’t my handwriting, it was if I was speaking myself. Everything that was written was true to my own account and it was so thorough I couldn’t think of anything that would need to be added. I really had to commend the writer.

 

I looked up at the Minister after reading it and he asked, “Did you read the whole statement?” I nodded. “Do you agree that what is written is the truth, to the best of your knowledge?” I nodded again. “Is there any information you feel needs to be added to this statement?” I shook my head. With my response, he handed me a quill and said, “Then by signing this statement, you make this an officially sworn statement, witnessed here by the Wizengamot.”

 

I gingerly took the quill from him and rested the parchment against the front of the podium. I steadied my hand and took a deep breath as I lowered the quill to the end of the parchment, and with a few strokes of ink I sealed my stepfather’s fate.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is so late in coming. If you're reading my Avengers fic, you'll know that I'd been let go from my job and am now a stay at home mum, which had just completely upended our schedules. We've been trying to get back into a good schedule, but writing was put on the back burner for a bit while I tended to one of the most important things: my son. Now, though, we're starting to get a schedule going, and I'm writing more. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stick to the once a week alternating updates for my fics that I had going before, so I won't promise anything yet.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

During the suddenly rather adventurous quest that escorting me to the Wizengamot became, I had wished to be back at Grimmauld Place and all its glorious monotony. My wish was true, but now that I was indeed back that weary restlessness was starting to set in and I found myself utterly bored yet again. I threw myself into the books Sirius procured for me and wrote meticulous notes, but each hour seemed to stretch on and on, seemingly never ending. Aurors still rotated in and out of the house, keeping watching for anything suspicious, but there were only a few that came and went instead of the gallery of new faces I’d kept seeing. I guessed that Sirius got suspicious and paranoid after the attack at the Ministry, so he limited who was allowed access to his house.

 

I couldn’t say I blamed him, and the days that Ludo came were some of the better ones, if only because our familiarity bred a certain level of comfortability instead of the awkwardness that was usually there with others. He didn’t seem to mind that I didn’t talk, and he didn’t treat me any differently than he did Sirius or anyone else. In fact, besides Sirius, he was the only one who actually _talked_ to me. Even though I had to write out a reply, he understood that you didn’t need to physically speak in order to hold a conversation. Sometimes, when I thought of all I’d missed and everything I’d have to do to catch up - between all the studying and the practical application of magic to taking tests and getting a job and a place to live - I got overwhelmed and intimidated, wondering if I could ever accomplish my dream of creating a new life for myself. He gave me some hope that perhaps integrating into the outside world wouldn’t be as hard as I was thinking.

 

One evening, about a couple of weeks after the whole Ministry affair, Sirius came home and dismissed the auror - a quiet little slip of a man named Kenneth, who politely said his goodbyes to both of us before accidentally knocking over the umbrella stand before leaving - before pulling up a stool next to the sofa where I was, just like he’d done when he’d told me we were going to the Ministry. I was curious, wondering what to expect.

 

“I suppose you’re probably curious about how the case is progressing,” he said, more of a statement than a question, though it could have been framed that way. I nodded and he continued, “The Wizengamot has so far convicted your stepfather and his associates that they had arrested prior. They are still, however, in the process of weeding out, apprehending, and trying the others who were involved in the attack at the Wizengamot. They are hopeful that at least a couple of them may turn on the rest so their net can be cast wider.”

 

I sat there, absorbing the information he was giving me. Upon hearing that my stepfather had been convicted, my heart trilled in joy, however with other underworld associates still at large, I wasn't sure what that meant for me just yet. Sirius seemed to sense the direction that my thoughts were going - he was getting better and better at anticipating me the longer we were together - and so he continued, “What that means right now is that while the imminent danger has been dealt with, there is a lingering possibility that they may try to come after you in retaliation. So, unfortunately, you will not be leaving here too soon.”

 

My heart dropped a little bit, not because I didn’t like Sirius or anything, but because I felt too confined at Grimmauld Place. I was so close to having a life of my own and making my own way, but this stood in the way like a stubborn stumbling block, refusing to budge for the time being. Sirius set his hand on my arm. “I know this is frustrating, having to sit and wait. But, I do have a little bit of good news for you.”

 

I perked up at that, genuinely curious. “Since the case against your stepfather has been wrapped up, your family home has been released from Ministry hold. I know you had told me before that you had hidden some things of yours, and now the time has come to go collect them.”

 

My eyes widened in surprise and I grinned. This was definitely good news, I could _finally_ retrieve what few possessions I held dear in this world. I had only one question, which I hurriedly wrote on the piece of parchment in front of me. _When can we go?_

 

He smiled. “Tomorrow, if you’d like.”

 

I nodded as I wrote, _Tomorrow._

 

I hardly slept that night as I tossed and turned in giddy anticipation. I barely even wanted to touch breakfast as I was eager to go, but I forced myself to slow down and eat as I knew it would catch up to me later if I didn’t. Sirius may not have been much of a cook, but he knew how to make a hearty bowl of porridge.

 

After breakfast, I fetched my coat and boots and met Sirius at the bottom of the stairs. “Ready to go?” he asked, and I nodded, unable to help the smile on my face. He chuckled and said, “Alright then, I’ll have you take me along with you. I’m sure you know the best place to apparate to around your house.”

 

I nodded and we stepped out of the house and onto the landing at the top of the stairs. He gripped my shoulder and waited for me to do my thing, so I closed my eyes and apparated away with him.

 

I had brought us to the edge of the enchantments that were set on the house, which was just outside the front gate. Well, what used to be the front gate. The hinges had rusted off and so now the gate lay off to the side in the grass, which was neglected and overgrown. I’d done my best to keep up the house, but I just couldn’t do everything so I’d had to make sacrifices in what to keep up and what to let go. As a result, the inside of the house was pretty much immaculate, though from the outside it looked like it was falling apart.

 

I took a few steps and then paused, looking at the old house. I was suddenly struck by all the memories of that place, both good and bad, and for a moment I was rooted to the spot. This house had been in my real father’s family for generations. I hated to think what he would have thought to see the house like this, the outside and the yard in this level of disrepair and dishevelment. It felt disrespectful, to his memory and to the memory of all the Winters who had lived here in the past. However, I couldn’t find it in myself to want to live here ever again. If I had anything to say about it, I would be the last Winter to ever occupy the house.

 

“Rue?” Sirius was several steps ahead of me, but had realized that I was no longer beside me as I was. “Is everything alright?”

 

I nodded and made my way to the front door. No going in through the back door this time. I would enter and leave through the same door everybody else did. Maybe it was a jealous pettiness, but I never liked being forced to use the back door. I would do as I pleased this time, though, for the first time in years.

 

The house was silent as a tomb as we stepped in, though I didn’t expect anything less. The only things that seemed to be out of place was the mess of the kitchen that had been left from the night that my stepfather had been arrested. One lonely upper cabinet hung open by one hinge, clinging to the cabinet for dear life. Broken dishes were strewn over the floor and an upended drawer spilled flatware from its bowels. There was only one thing that I really wanted from the kitchen, and I swiftly stepped over the mess and made my way over to the fireplace. I had caught a glimpse of it the last night I’d been here, it had somehow landed by the hearth in the midst of the fighting, and sure enough it was still there. I bent over and picked up the hefty cast iron skillet that had once been my grandmother’s and subsequently given to my mother when she originally married my father. All of my mum’s nice china had been pawned off for money by my greedy stepfather, but he’d never seen much use for the skillet outside of cooking with it. It was now mine.

 

After retrieving the skillet, I headed up the stairs to the second floor. Down the hall, the third door on the left was my destination. I opened the creaking door to reveal my old room, in all it’s former glory. The hardwood floors were still glossy, thanks to the meticulous care I’d taken to keep it up, and my old canopy bed still sat in the room, along with my old dresser and bookshelf. My stepfather hadn’t really known what to do with my old room, he just knew he didn’t want me to have it, so as a result once I’d been shuffled off to the closet in the basement, he’d left it alone. Which was a good thing, seeing as I’d stashed some things in here that he probably would have loved to get his hands on.

 

I sat the skillet on my dresser so I had both hands free and then moved my bed about halfway to the far wall. Once it was moved, I stepped around the area to confirm which one it was, before I knelt and started prying up a loose floorboard. It almost didn’t want to give, but I consistently worked at it and it eventually gave and came up. I set it behind me and then reached into the hole.

 

The first thing I drew out was a small box that I’d kept some of my mum’s jewelry in. It wasn’t much by the time I’d managed to snag them to keep, as my stepfather had already made several runs with her jewelry, but there was a ring, a pendent necklace, and a pocket watch that used to belong to my real father that my mum had held on to once he’d passed. They were some of the last things that existed of my parents, validating their existence to me.

 

I then grabbed the books that I’d kept from my stepfather, which wasn’t as many as I would have liked, but I’d done my best to save what I could. I was definitely going to need a bag, but I’d tucked a cloth satchel into my coat pocket before we left Grimmauld Place, so I pulled it out and started piling books in it. It had been one of the things that Mrs. Weasley had given me, and it even had an undetectable extension charm on it, so I piled all of the books into it without feeling the heft.

 

The last thing I reached in to grab was carefully wrapped in a silk cloth. Sirius watched me, seemingly puzzled from the doorway as I drew it out. I unwrapped it to reveal a wand, my mum’s old wand that she’d given to me about a month before she passed. I think she’d known the end was near and wanted to make sure that I kept this, even if I never went to Hogwarts it could still be valuable to me. And indeed it was, for now even though it wasn’t _my_ wand, I could now use it to at least try out some practical magic for once.

 

I held it up and admired it in the light. It was a simple yet elegant in design, much like my mum was. It was a full 13 inches long, made of willow and dragon heartstring. As I held it up, I could almost _feel_ the magical potential it held, and I was excited to try out some techniques I’d been studying. Silent spell casting, while difficult, was definitely possible. I had a feeling that if I just got the opportunity to practice it enough, I could do it myself. After all, I’d been able to teach myself to apparate after taking only a couple of lessons from one of my underworld buyers, and that itself had given me a great measure of independence, as my stepfather no longer had to apparate me anywhere he wanted me to go. I just knew that my mum’s last gift would give me the ability to forge a normal life for myself in the Wizarding world.

 

Sirius watched me admire the wand and asked, “Is that your mum’s wand?”

 

I nodded as I pulled the silken wrap around it again before stashing it in the bag.

 

“Ah, good then. Perhaps now you can move on to more practical magic rather than studying theory all day.”

 

I grinned widely at this prospect, glad that he was on board for it just as much as I was.

 

I left the jewelry box out of the bag, so it wouldn’t open and spill its contents in the vast bag. After I’d stashed everything in the bag that I intended to keep, I grabbed the bag, the box, and the skillet from the dresser. “Is there anything else you need to get?” Sirius asked.

 

I shook my head, ready to leave now. I turned around and looked at my room one last time before I made my way down the stairs and out the door, stopping only once we passed the gate and Sirius grabbed my shoulder so we could apparate away.

 

I didn’t look back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late posting of this chapter, things got a little out of hand with the free play weekend for Fallout 4 (which has now developed into a full blown obsession) and the anticipation for and release of the Morrowind expansion of Elder Scrolls Online, I've been kind of slacking with the writing. I made this chapter a smidge longer than normal, in return. I hope y'all enjoy. :)

I frowned in frustration as the spell I was attempting - a simple levitating spell - literally fizzled out in front of me. I resisted the urge to stamp my foot like a child as my grip tightened on the wand. Why couldn’t I get this? I wasn’t even attempting anything advanced, just spells and charms that were typically geared toward first year Hogwarts students. I felt utterly hopeless as I flopped back onto the couch in a huff, rubbing my head to help ease the onset of a headache that I was feeling.

 

Sirius simply observed me from across the room, I figured to steer clear of my missteps, but he now strode across it and sat next to me, his hand gently alighting on my knee. “It’s alright,” he said gently. “I know it looks simple when I or Ludo use spells, but we’ve been practicing for years. I don’t expect you to get this on day one.”

 

I sighed as I reached for a piece of parchment along with the quill that I’d been unsuccessfully attempting to lift with my wand. _The books said this is a first year level spell. What kind of witch am I if I can’t even do something that first years can do?_

 

I felt defeated as I slid the parchment to him. If it wasn’t for the fact that I could apparate, I would have started wondering if I’d been a squib all along. The frustration continued to build in me as I rubbed my fingers along the handle of my mum’s wand, tears of aggravation stinging my eyes, though I refused to let them fall.

 

The hand that he’d set on my knee tightened in reassurance. “I know it’s frustrating. Just keep in mind, even though the _spells_ are considered basic, _your technique_ is not. Silent spellcasting is a more advanced skill that not all witches and wizards can master. Also …” he paused, as if trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say, “ … also, it doesn’t help that the wand you’re using isn’t your own wand.”

 

My brow furrowed as I was puzzled. What did that mean? I didn’t even have to write out a question as he sensed that I didn’t understand.

 

“You see, a witch or wizard does their best work with their own wand, a wand that has chosen them. While they can usually still work with another wand, it will never be like their own. While your mother may have given you her wand, she still retained ownership of it since she gave it to you willingly. You would have had to win it from her or steal it in order to transfer ownership.”

 

Well this was news. I slid the parchment back to me as I asked _So what do I do?_

 

“Well, when we are able, we can visit Ollivander’s in Diagon Alley and get you your own wand. Unfortunately, for now, it is still a little too dangerous to visit such a crowded area just yet.” My heart sank as I wondered how long I was going to wait to get my life back on track.

 

He patted my shoulder as he tried to reassure me. “Keep practicing as much as you can, though. Who knows, if you practice enough, by the time you get your own wand, who knows what you’ll be able to do.” He winked as he stood and made his way to the kitchen, undoubtedly to start some dinner. We’d postponed the meal some so that I could practice some with a wand. I was a little hesitant to practice without him though now I realized I had really overestimated my abilities.

 

After a simple dinner, I took a quick bath as I prepared for bed. I tried really hard to focus on Sirius’ words of encouragement earlier, but my disappointment in myself couldn’t help but bleed through his assurances. _What if he’s wrong? What if it’s not the wand and it’s just me?_ I furiously scrubbed my curls as I tried to push the negative thoughts out of my head.

 

As I got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around me, I wiped down the mirror from the steam that had accumulated there. I glimpsed my face and took a good look at it. I’d put on some weight, so the edges of my features weren’t as sharp as before, and the bruises were all but completely gone. In a few weeks, maybe, nobody would be able to tell that I’d been malnourished and underfed for most of my life. But the lingering affects - like not talking and being unable to cast even simple spells - still remained, and was still visible if anyone stuck around me long enough. How long would it be until I could have a normal life, like everyone else? I didn’t want anything extravagant, nothing fancy, just a normal humdrum kind of life that most probably took for granted.

 

I dressed in the white cotton nightdress that Mrs. Weasley had given me and crawled into bed, but I was unable to fall asleep immediately, the events of the day still replaying in my head. I had tried to cast the simple spell every way I could think, I had made sure to copy the wand movements exactly, but the quill hadn’t budged an inch. I racked my brain, trying to think of something else, something different to try, but so far I was coming up empty, and the less answers I found the more depressed I felt.

 

I’d finally done what I had thought what had been impossible, escaping out from under my stepfather. I finally had my chance to hit reset on my life and shape it into what I wanted it to be. And yet I was _still_ being held back, by one thing or another. It was hard to not feel discouraged.

 

Despite my best efforts, I started sinking back into the darkness that I previously languished in. As I pulled the covers tight around me, I felt the depression wrap itself around my mind. I had been trying to hard lately, so hard to keep myself together, to keep focused, to not get overwhelmed by everything. But as I laid in bed, it all started creeping up on me until it felt like I was being crushed by doubt, uncertainty, and a growing sense of apprehension about my current situation. I felt, like I had so many times in the past, the urge the flee. Before, I’d been unable to, either because I was locked in the closet or that I knew my stepfather would find me no matter where I went. Now, there was little difference. Even though I was technically free to leave if I wished, there was a looming threat out there that I would be wholly unable to defend myself from. _What a witch I’m turning out to be,_ I thought miserably.

 

I tossed and turned as the night stretched on, snatching sleep where I could in between the thoughts that plagued my mind. I saw the sun eventually start to peek over the horizon and decided to go ahead and get up. I wasn’t going to fool myself anymore, I wasn’t getting any more rest.

 

I pulled on a jumper and soft pants that didn’t just hang off my frame quite like they did before. I pulled on some soft woolen socks and left my house shoes at the foot of my bed as I made my way down to the kitchen for some tea and a little breakfast. Sirius wasn’t even up yet as I put some water on and prepped a mug. While I waited, I checked the pantry and figured that since I had the time, I should go ahead and fix some breakfast. The only question was what to fix with the limited ingredients I had available. Since Sirius wasn’t much of a cook, he didn’t keep a variety of different things handy, things most people would probably consider essential. But, I poked and scrounged enough and found enough ingredients to make some simple scones.

 

My stepfather had always had a fiendish sweet tooth, and so I’d been constantly baking something or another, even if I had to do it in the dead of night to make sure he would have something for breakfast. I measured and mixed with practiced precision, crushing up walnuts and sprinkling in cranberries for added taste and texture to the otherwise simple vanilla scone recipe that was my go to. My chocolate scone was my personal favourite, but I didn’t have what I needed, so I settled. Perhaps I could ask Sirius to purchase a few extra things when he went to the grocery. Not a lot, as I didn’t want to burden him, but a few things that I could use. I figured that if I wasn’t going to be able to cast spells or charms very well, I would try to focus on things that I knew I could do well, and cooking and baking was definitely one of them.

 

I set the dough in the freezer unit to cool as I poured my tea into a mug and heated up the oven. It would take a little while until the oven heated to the correct temperature, and the scones always turned out well when I let them rest in the a cold place. I wasn’t sure what exactly made it that way, but ever since I’d stumbled upon it one hot summer day when I’d been afraid of just leaving the dough to sit out I’d never done it any other way.

 

I poured a second cup of tea and mixed in the sugar and milk before I put the scones in the oven to bake. Most witches and wizards, when baking, used charms to tell them when the oven was heated correctly. I’d never had the convenience, but I’d perfected my own way of telling. That and I constantly checked on the food as it cooked so it wouldn’t burn, even when I was pretty sure the temperature was right.

 

I couldn’t have timed things any better as I heard Sirius’ footsteps on the stairs as I took the pan out of the oven. I set them on the table to rest as I put some more water on for him, as he undoubtedly would want a cuppa before he left for the Ministry.

 

He walked into the kitchen and paused, surprised at the breakfast sitting on the table. “So that’s what I smelled, then.” He smiled as he moved to grab a mug for himself from the cabinet. “I’m glad I wasn’t just imagining things, they smell wonderful.”

 

I smiled as I handed him the sugar before I reached into the cabinet for a couple of plates. It was really the least I could do for my generous host. He was normally gone way before I got up in the morning, or else I would have fixed him some breakfast before now. I was going to try to do this on a more regular basis, though. Maybe a different routine would help lift the darkness that was desperately trying to wrap itself around me.

 

Sirius groaned in pleasure as he sank into one of the soft, flaky scones. “Been holding out on me, eh?” He winked as he took another bite before he washed it down with some tea.

 

I grinned, just glad that I was able to make myself useful in some way. I pulled some parchment and a quill out of my pocket and wrote, _If you wouldn’t mind picking up some things at the grocer, I’d be happy to keep it up._

 

He raised his scone and said, “If this is what I can look forward to, I’ll pick up anything you need.” He polished off the one in his hand and grabbed a second to finish off with his tea. I had to agree, even though it was a simple vanilla scone it was delicious in its own way. Dried cranberries and walnuts were some of my favourite additions to put in, but there were at least a hundred different recipe combinations that I kept stored in my brain.

 

As he finished his second scone and his tea, he rose from the table so he could finish getting ready. He passed by me and paused, putting his hand on my shoulder. “You know, there are more things in this world than magic. Most witches and wizards rely on it too much and forget the simplicity of doing things by hand. No matter how well you end up excelling with magic, don’t forget that.”

 

I was glad that he left the kitchen as my cheeks were now burning. Even though there was nobody else there yet, I let my hair fall into my face as I tapped the other end of the quill against the parchment. Once ideas started coming to me, I started writing down ingredients that I would need. I didn’t want to start out with too much, but I tried to cover as many bases as I could by getting some basics and a few extras that would allow me to take the basics in different directions. When I finished, the list wasn’t too long, but it would be enough for me to work with for about a week or so, depending on how much I could stretch things … and based on past experience, I could stretch the hell out of just about anything.

 

I did feel a little better as I set down the quill and looked over the list one last time, to make sure I’d included everything I’d wanted. Sirius was right, after all, reliance on magic tended to reduce other skills into the mediocre. Even if I wasn’t destined to be a talented witch, I could still stand out in other ways. I just had to figure out how and not let the disappointment seep into me. It was going to be tough, but I had to try.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, between uploading more old one-shots from my ffnet account to here and binge watching Supernatural and leveling my Injustice 2 characters (I finally maxed one! Yay!), I also managed to pound out another chapter for this story, too! So since I'd been slacking a bit in updates, I decided to go ahead and post it instead of making y'all wait.

Over the coming weeks, I threw myself into practice. I read everything I could on magical theory, noting concepts and then trying them myself. Instead of focusing on the spells that I was casting, I started focusing more on the concepts behind silent spellcasting, as I figured the spell itself wouldn’t really matter that much. I tried every possibility I read about, every iteration. I tried casting spells in passing, almost ignoring them, and on the flip-side putting every ounce of concentration into them. I tried various wand movements and slightly different enunciations in my head, but no matter what I did, nothing seemed to work. The quill laid on the table, the cup sat untransformed, nothing changed, nothing happened.

 

I couldn’t lie, I was starting to get extremely discouraged. I heard what Sirius was saying about keeping up practice and that silent spellcasting was an advanced technique, but in my heart of hearts I felt like I was failing. At night, I would sit up and just stare at the wall, fighting against the negative thoughts rumbling around in my mind, often losing and crying myself to sleep. I often wondered why exactly my mum had given me her wand if it was so useless to me. Twice I almost intentionally broke it, but every time I held it in my hands, ready to snap it, I couldn’t go through with it. As much as it pained me, as much trouble as it gave me, and as much as it was quickly becoming my biggest obstacle, I couldn’t damage something that had been so important to my mother, something she had entrusted to my safekeeping. I felt that I would be dishonouring her and her memory by doing something so brash.

 

One day, while I was studiously reading some commentaries written by a fairly revolutionary Magical scholar named Marcella Routh regarding spellcasting in general, Sirius came home early. I jumped when I heard the door open and slam shut, and Kenneth was out of his seat and holding his wand at the ready in an instant … until he saw who it was and relaxed. “I’m sorry, Mr. Sirius Black, I wasn’t expecting you home this early,” he said rather nervously, chuckling with relief.

 

Sirius didn’t say anything, instead walking around him and turning on the radio, switching it to a news channel and turning it up. I sat up straight on the sofa, puzzled by the way he was acting, so atypically for Sirius who wasn’t usually so rude. Sirius sat on an ottoman he pulled up and motioned for Kenneth to stay quiet as the news broadcaster started her announcement.

 

It was a special announcement, interrupting their normal broadcast. At first, I was so focused on trying to figure out what had gotten into Sirius when I heard something about a large scale bust in central London. That snatched my attention, and I was suddenly following along with the news. From what I gathered from the report, the shady organizations that my father had been dabbling around with was all interconnected into one mass consortium that had been slowly gaining in power since even before the first appearance of the Dark Lord Voldemort. The cartel, known simply as The Syndicate, had been consolidating power and for the past 20 years or so had been the only Dark Magic association in the UK, either stomping out their enemies or forcing them to join The Syndicate. However, because of the downfall of a minor branch and the exposure that caused, a group of high level aurors had persisted and followed lead after lead until they finally had enough evidence to bring the whole organization to its knees. This very morning, while I’d been using Kenneth as a test subject for some baked goodies, leaders of The Syndicate had breathed their last breath as free wizards and witches and had all been taken into custody in a massive sting operation, headed by none other than Harry Potter himself.

 

Sirius simply turned around and smiled at me. “You hear that? You’re free, Rue. Nobody will bother you ever again. We made sure of it.”

 

He winked as I sat there, floored by the revelation. So that was what he had been working on this whole time? I had lost count of the weeks that had gone by, but I realized that it was firmly December now, over two months since he’d lead me out of the basement closet, and quite a while since I’d signed my writ of testimony at the Ministry. It seemed so short a time, and yet living it, it had seemed like the longest days I’d ever seen, cooped up in one house with nothing to do but read and study and then practice. But now, all that waiting was over, now I could actually start to make some _real_ progress in my new life.

 

Hope blossomed quickly in my chest, but I shut it down just as quickly. It was a dangerous thing to hope, and I had gotten so used to disappointment, that I had a firm policy of wait and see. I would believe I was free when I could come and go as I pleased and start doing things on my own. Until then, nothing had changed.

 

We all jumped when we heard a knocking at the door, and Sirius turned down the radio volume a bit before he went to answer it. Kenneth still gripped his wand but he held it at his side. It seemed like it wasn’t needed, however, when Sirius let out a boisterous greeting when opening the door. I thought the other voice sounded familiar, and sure enough he led Mr. Weasley into the living room. I hastily moved some books and papers from the couch so he could sit down, and he did, though he didn’t remove his jacket. “I was just listening and heard the news! So the operation was a success, then?”

 

“A wonderful success, far better than we’d ever hoped.”

 

“Well Molly’s having a a big to do tonight, to celebrate Harry’s and your success, so what I’m really here to do is invite you. And Rue, of course, since she’s the whole reason you both had started that case,” he said as gestured towards me and smiled.

 

I was a bit surprised but nodded and smiled in return. I couldn’t recall ever going to an event like this before, but I was feeling eager to get out of the house, and figured I should try to get used to socializing.

 

Later that evening, as I stood alone in my room, getting ready, I paused to wonder if all of the Weasley’s would be there … including the sons I had tried to steal from that had lead to this whole thing. I know she had told me that her sons didn’t harbour any ill will towards me, but I couldn’t help but feeling awkward at the thought of facing them. I pondered how to handle the situation, should it present itself, but I was coming up blank as I pulled on some black cotton tights that clung tight to my legs. Before, I might have avoided wearing something so close cut, but I was different now. I had put on some weight and while I was still small and petite, I wasn’t as tiny as I’d been so I wasn’t as self-conscious about it as I’d been before. I pulled on a light blue sweater with a large collar as I debated the merits of pulling my hair up before I decided against it. I was already trying new things and breaking into new territory, I figured until I knew how this was going to go there was no need to take as many steps as I could and jump in head first. Having my hair down made me feel like I had a bit of a safety net, a security blanket to hide behind should I feel the need to. If I didn’t, so much the better, but having it there was comforting.

 

I took a look at myself in the mirror and realized that the sweater sat a little off the shoulder on me. Since it wasn’t oversized, I figured the design must have been intentional. I couldn’t decide if I was totally comfortable with it or not, but before I could grab something else, Sirius was at the door knocking, asking if I was ready.

 

I opened the door and held up a finger, turning to grab my coat and the black leather flats that Mrs. Weasley had given me, the ones I had debated if I should wear to the Ministry or not and eventually decided against. Since then I had tried them out and found them deceptively comfortable, even more so than my boots, and much easier to simply slip on. I pulled on my coat as I followed Sirius down the stairs and out the door, pausing at the landing for him to lock the door before he took hold of my shoulder and apparated away with me.

 

Dusk was already giving away to night as we appeared outside a seemingly ordinary cottage. Only someone in the Wizarding world would have noticed the little things, from the broomsticks lying against a shed to the glimpses of gnomes running about in the garden.As we approached the warmly lit home, I already heard raucous laughter coming from inside. I gulped as Sirius raised a hand to knock at the door. Just what had I gotten myself into?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My new WIP's character, Joanna, finally relented her hold on me enough to let me finish writing this chapter. Sorry for the wait, OC's and plot bunnies can be very demanding sometimes, even more so when they've been ignored for a while!

Molly Weasley greeted us at the door, giving us both a tight hug before we could even cross the threshold. The house was full of voices and laughter and I suddenly felt self-conscious and nervous, wondering why I had come. I always had some parchment and a couple of quills stashed in my jacket, but getting other people acclimated to communicating like that was usually a little awkward, and I was suddenly feeling too overwhelmed to even try.

 

She bustled us into the living room, insisting that we sit and relax while she finished up the food, which she insisted would be ready in just a few minutes. As I looked around the area, I only recognized two other people - Mr. Weasley and Harry Potter - the rest were just a mish mash of red hair, save for two other women. One was tall and graceful looking, with sleek blond hair, the other was a little shorter and petite with a mane of brown curls.

 

I had to admit, it was a little strange seeing Harry Potter _smile_ , as the only time I had seen him he’d looked rather strict and intimidating. He was grinning and happy, though, and his face lit up even more when Sirius stepped in and he got up to embrace him in a bear hug. I was carefully scanning the room, trying to see if any of them looked familiar, but none of them were particularly striking me. I was beginning to question if I could really remember what the owners of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes looked like when I felt something pinch my back.

 

I jump and spun around to see that familiar face that I’d been looking for. While I’d been a little apprehensive about meeting one of the Weasley twins, the encounter was now quite literally staring me in the face. He looked a little standoff-ish and I gulped as he asked, “So you’re Rue, then? The girl who stole from us?” I nodded slowly and he suddenly broke out into a grin as he laughed. “I was quite impressed with your haul. I only saw you pinch a love potion, had no clue you’d nabbed a good deal more.” I was a little surprised, unsure at how to even take his response. “I’m Fred, and I have a bit of a proposition for you …”

 

Unfortunately, before he could elaborate, Molly called us all to dinner. He gestured with his arm to allow me to go first, and I followed everyone else into the dining room. Even though it was a small space, Molly had put to use every square inch of it, so it actually fit quite a number of people. I suppose, with how big her family was, she was used to catering to larger crowds, so a few more didn’t really make much of a difference. She expertly seated everyone, and I ended up between Sirius and Fred. I wasn’t sure if she intentionally put be next to Fred or if it was just random chance, but I was very glad that I’d had the opportunity to meet him _before_ dinner started.

 

Molly had really put on the spread. A delicious glazed ham had been sat in the middle of the table, along with assorted vegetables, some mashed potatoes, and plenty of buttered rolls and pudding. I rolled up the sleeves on my jumper - my arms were a little shorter than whoever had owned it last - before I took a roll from the plate Sirius passed me. I passed it on to Fred and the plates went round the table so everyone could get a little bit. Molly stood on the other side of the table, cutting slices off the ham and passing them out herself. It wasn’t until everyone had gotten something of everything that she finally sat down, herself. As Molly meals went, it was as spectacular as usual. I wasn’t sure what she’d used as the glaze on the ham, but it was tangy and sweet and absolutely perfect.

 

The dinner conversation was raucous, as I supposed it usually was. Between the twins and Sirius and Harry, that alone seemed to spell trouble. Through the conversation I learned who the other Weasleys were in attendance. George, Fred’s twin, was easy enough to suss out. The older man with a thick head of curls was Charlie, who from conversation I heard was usually off in Romania working with dragons. Bill was the one with long, flowing locks and a harsh scar on his face, and he was married to the blond woman who was named Fleur. Percy was rather severe looking, but seemingly polite. He was apparently engaged, though it appeared his fiancé was unable to come to the dinner. Ron was the only other married male Weasley, who was married to Hermione, the woman with the brown curls. Ginny Potter - who I’d read about in the paper - was the only Weasley daughter. I had correctly assumed she was connected Harry, though I had thought perhaps she was a cousin or sibling, not his wife. He looked young to be married, but they seemed rather happy.

 

Molly encouraged us all to eat as much as we could and even more until we waved her off. I barely even had any room for pudding, though I took a little just to satisfy her.I long had a sneaking suspicion that if I lived with her, I would have gained even more weight than I had already, and this all but confirmed it. Even the twins weren’t as rowdy as before as they both leaned back in their chairs. We all eventually made it back to the living room to rest and let the food settle for a moment before we departed, though it seemed the Charlie would actually be staying with them. From the gist, it seemed that he was rarely back in England, but he’d come in a week prior to stay over for the holidays. I smiled, as I was genuinely happy that it seemed their whole family would be together for once. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I’d enjoyed the company of wanted family, but it was wonderful to see how it _could_ be. It didn’t fill me with nostalgia, exactly, but something close to it, something I had wanted for myself for a very long time.

 

As I rose to fetch my coat as Sirius said goodbye to Molly and Arthur, Fred caught up to me again. “Right, I almost forgot, I have a proposition for you. Well, George and I do,” he motioned over his shoulder where his twin waved at me. “See, we could really use someone to work in the back, checking inventory and stocking and the like. We usually have someone doing that but they up and quit a while ago, before you ever came into the shop, and we haven’t been able to fill the position since. George and I have been trying to do it ourselves, but between that and what we normally do running the shop, it’s meant a lot of long nights for us. So, if you want, we have a job for you,” he said with a smile.

 

I was a bit blind-sided, and just stood there and stared for a moment before I dug out a parchment and a quill and wrote, _Do you really trust me enough?_

 

He smirked as he threw a grin over at his twin before he said, “Well, we’re willing to forgive and forget. From what details we managed to get of the case … we know you weren’t doing that willingly. And since we could really use the help, and you could use a helping hand, we figure we could help each other out.”

 

I would be a fool to say no. I was wanting a normal life, and the means to have one were laid right at my feet. There was only one answer to give. _When do you want me to start?_

 

He grinned widely and said, “Give us a few days to set things up for you. Plus, George is moving out of the upstairs apartment to move in with his girlfriend, Angelina, so take the time to pack up, you’ll have a room in the apartment, too.”

 

This was way more than I was expecting, and I felt quite humbled by the offer they were giving me. _I don’t think I can thank you enough for this chance. I promise, you won’t regret it._

 

He read my response and chuckled. “I don’t believe we shall.”


	13. Chapter 13

Sirius seemed quite pleased with the development when I told him, though not as surprised as I’d thought he would be. He did seem a little sorry to see me go, though this was an eventuality. I suppose it was just awfully lonely at Grimmauld Place with just Sirius, so much so that even a mute guest provided a nice level of companionship to the older Auror. Well, that and I’m sure he appreciated the meals that I’d been cooking. I planned on cooking a really nice one the day I moved out, but I had a few days yet, and so I took my time planning what to make in between slowly packing what little I had. One thing I did have to do was go through my books and make sure to give Sirius back any books that I had borrowed from him.

 

I was quite glad that I had been very thorough in my note taking, as I doubted I would have to go back and reference any of the books that I had taken notes from again. I carefully compiled and filed my notes so that I could easily reference them when I needed them. With this new development, I wasn’t quite sure when I would be able to study what I needed, practice, and take the tests. But I reckoned that I could figure that out later, for now just focusing on what was happening in front of me would do. I may not have passed the tests or even gotten my own wand, but I did have a job and a place to stay where I wasn’t just imposing on a Ministry employee, as willing as he was, so I counted this as progress. Perhaps not the progress I had been looking for previously, but progress nonetheless. And I would take whatever I could get at this point.

 

Two days after the dinner, the day before the big move, as I was carefully stowing away most of my clothes into a bag in preparation, I heard the door open downstairs as Sirius came home from the Ministry. I knew it was him because he called out, “Rue, it’s me.” I smiled. Since there was now no threat to me, there was no need to have aurors at the house during the day, so when Sirius came home he always called out so that I would know it was him. I got up from my bed where I’d been folding and packing clothes to stand at the top of the stairs. Sirius would normally take off his jacket and set it on one of the hooks in the hallway, but this time he kept his jacket on as he turned and gave me a smile and said, “I’ve gotten off a little early today, would you like to take a short trip with me?”

 

I tilted my head, curious about where this trip was going to take us, but figured it might be interesting and so I nodded yes. I held up a finger so I could go fetch a pair of shoes, opting to slid on those black flats that Mrs. Weasley had given me. I was already wearing some nice, thicker denim pants and a thick cream-coloured jumper, so I figured my jacket would be enough to insulate me against the cutting cold that had set in.

 

As if on cue, a cold wind blasted us as we stepped outside, and Sirius quickly gripped my shoulder and took me along with him.

 

When we appeared next, I was a bit surprised at our location. It had been a long time since I’d been here, and the last time had not exactly been under favourable conditions. I normally kept my head down, but now I looked up and around and took in Diagon Alley, for perhaps the first time. A lot of the shops that I had immediately deemed not worth the time I had paid no attention to at all. How many times had I walked past screeching owl cages that were set outside Eeylops Owl Emporium? How many times had I averted my eyes from the beautiful robes adorning the windows in front of Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions? Or almost covered my nose as I passed Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour so as to not upset my rumbling stomach? Most of what I knew of Diagon Alley was the cobblestone pavement, but now I had a chance to actually look up and around and what I found was that it seemed to be a wholly different place than I remembered. Perhaps because of the reason I visited before, I hated going there, dreading each trip. Now though, it was open and inviting and it drew me in with a certain warmth. It didn’t even seem as cold here as it did back at the house, and I suspected some wizardry at play. I smiled as I looked up to see a few snowflakes slowly drift down from the heavens. I could definitely see me forging a new life here, at the Weasley’s shop.

 

Sirius gently guided me down the street, eventually opening the door to one particular shop that I had never once visited before: Ollivander’s. Just at a glance from the street, I’d been able to tell that it would be nigh impossible to nick anything there and so I had never given it a second thought. As we stepped into the dusty shop, I thought that it looked an awful lot like I’d thought it did. All the shelves containing merchandise were located behind the counter, at which approached an old, hunched man who responded to the ringing bell that signaled customers. He smiled as he saw us and said, “Ah, Sirius! Good to see you. What can I do for you today?”

 

Sirius clapped my shoulder as he said, “Today we are looking for a wand for my friend here, Rue Winter.”

 

Mr. Ollivander peered over his glasses at me and cocked his head slightly. “I haven’t sold you a wand, have I?” I shook my head and a small frown creased his forehead. “Winter … Winter … that’s sounds familiar … Are you related to Phillip, by any chance?” I nodded again. Phillip was my father, my real father, the one I’d lost so long ago I barely remembered anything of him. He smiled as he remembered, “Yes, I sold him his own wand before he left for Hogwarts. Elm, ten inches, very solid. Phoenix feather core. But … it is a bit late for you to be going to Hogwarts, isn’t it?”

 

I looked to Sirius who took over for me. “Rue was unable to attend Hogwarts when she turned 11.”

 

Ollivander grunted and nodded, not interested in further explanations as he turned and grabbed a step-stool to take with him. “Well, then, we shall have to find a nice wand for her!” He took his time walking down the rows of shelves, pausing occasionally to grab a box here and there. His selections didn’t seem to make much sense to me, but he was the wand expert. When he came back to the front, he had no less than ten boxes in his arms, and he piled them all on the counter and motioned us forward. “I’ve always maintained that the wand chooses the wizard, and so, Rue, I’d like you to take each of these wands, give them a wave, and see how they feel.”

 

At that he opened the first box and handed the wand inside to me. It was a deep, dark wood with a high polish on it, but as I waved it, it did nothing. The second wand had the same result, as did the next one and the one after that. Wand after wand passed through my hand to no avail, though Ollivander didn’t seem frazzled about it at all. When he opened the box of the next to last wand, I felt something inside me thrum with a certain vibration. It made me a little uneasy at first, and I wasn’t sure what to expect as he pulled it out and handed it to me. I took it gingerly, a little on edge, and as soon as it was in my hand the tip of it glowed and I felt a small window lift my curls and the edges of my jacket. “Ah ha!” pronounced Ollivander. “I knew we’d find it. Ash, 11 inches, slightly springy … unicorn hair core,” he added with a wink. “This one will be very good for working charms and silent spellcasting.”

 

My heart soared at this information as I looked over my wand. The wood was a pale colour with a filigree pattern winding around it, concentrated at the handle. I couldn’t help the grin that settled on my face as I looked at it. I’d secured a job, a place to live, and I’d finally found my wand. Things were definitely starting to look up now.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm posting updates a little later than normal, as I said in my update for my Skyrim fic, I got sick last week and it really threw everything off. I'm trying to get back on track, though, and this chapter ended up being a little longer than normal, so I hope that makes up for it. :)

Leaving Grimmauld Place was a lot harder than I’d imagined. For the longest time I had been yearning to be free of what was essentially a prison for me, but now that I was finally leaving it felt odd … like I was leaving a home, rather than a space of confinement. I felt bad for Sirius, living all alone in that big house, eating porridge and toast most days, having no one to interact with once he left work. I supposed that’s why he hadn’t retired yet, he didn’t want to spend most of his days utterly alone. Most if not all of the people he knew had jobs, families of their own, things to do and people to be with day in and day out. Besides work, Sirius had silent walls for company. Even though I wasn’t much of a conversationalist, I had still provided him with some form of companionship that he hadn’t experienced in a long time. As soon as I was settled in and had gotten into a routine, I promised myself that I wouldn’t forget to visit. Sirius had done much for me, from sticking his neck out and vouching for me when I was first caught stealing to offering his own home to help protect me. I wouldn’t say he was like a father to me, exactly, because no one would ever truly be like a father to me. Rather, I regarded him as a caring uncle, looking out for me and helping guide me when I needed him. I would never forget him and his kindness and I would do my best to repay him however I could, even if it was just popping in with some dinner and company.

 

To start off my repayment, before I left, I prepared a full roast meal. It was far more than enough to feed two people, and that was my intention, to leave some leftovers so he could have some real food for a little while after I was gone. He was touched and appreciative, and I swore I could see a few tears welling in his eyes but it could have just been the way the light from the candles reflected off of them.

 

After dinner, I scooped up the last of my things that I needed to pack and made my way downstairs. I had just a couple of bags, but Sirius insisted on carrying one of them for me. They both had undetectable extension charms on them, so they weren’t heavy or anything, but I suspected that he wanted to prolong our goodbye for as long as possible. I couldn’t say that I blamed him.

 

When we reapparated, we were standing in the back of the Weasley’s shop in Diagon Alley. The shop itself was closed at the moment, but the back door was propped open slightly and a few bags were sitting outside, more than likely belonging to George. I all of a sudden felt shy and unsure of myself, frozen to the spot, not knowing if I should knock on the door or just go inside. Sirius didn’t have that same problem as he simply opened the door and motioned for me to follow him. Figuring it was probably okay for me to follow suit, I stepped inside, shivering from the chill in the air outside. As we entered, I saw that where we came in was the back of the store, where the inventory was kept. This was where I would be working soon, and I gave it a cursory glance as I followed Sirius down the makeshift hallway of shelves to a set of stairs against the far wall. We heard boisterous laugher as we ascended the stairs and Sirius chuckled as I’m sure he could only imagine what the twins were up to while they were supposed to be moving George out. After the stairs, we walked along a balcony that looked out over the back of the store, passing one door until we came to the second and last door on the right. Sirius rapped lightly on the door with his knuckles and one of the twins answered the door. “Ah, Sirius! Rue! Come in, come in, I’m just getting the last of my things here and then I’ll be out of the way.”

 

“You better still come and visit me, Georgie!” Fred called from further inside the apartment.

 

“Oi, you know I’ll still be working here, right?” George shot back as he stood aside to let us enter.

 

We stepped into a large open room that encompassed an entry way, a sitting area, a dining room, and a kitchen. A large window on the opposite wall overlooked Diagon Alley above the shop itself. Two doors were set against the right wall, and about halfway between them a short hallway terminated in yet another door that I assumed was the bathroom. Fred soon emerged from the far room with a small bag in his hand. “Here, that’s the last of it, I combed every inch of the room to make sure you didn’t leave anything behind.”

 

“Well if I did it’s not like I can’t come back and get anything, now can I?” George replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he took the bag with a smile. “I ought to get going, Angelina’s gonna be wondering where I am.”

 

“Off you go, then!” Fred exclaimed as he shooed him out the door, laughing as he said goodbye to his brother before turning to us. “Glad you two made it.”

 

“We aren’t too early, I hope?” Sirius asked.

 

Fred chuckled and shook his had. “Nah, George was running late, _as usual_. Come on, now, don’t just stand there like a couple of stiffs, where’s the baggage?”

 

“This is all,” Sirius replied, holding up the bag that he carried. I supposed Fred thought I would have more than just a couple of bags, but I really only had a few possessions. Most of them were clothes that had been gifted or donated to me. I had very few things left from my previous life, and I intended to keep it that way.

 

“Oh,” Fred shrugged. “Well, this way,” he motioned as he lead us to the far room, which had previously belonged to George. It wasn’t as big as the room I had been occupying in Sirius’ house, but I didn’t really need much space anyway. It was a helluva lot bigger than the closet I’d had while living with my stepfather. A dresser with an attached mirror sat on my left, against the wall with the door. It looked like an antique, like it had been in the family a while, and I was a bit surprised that George had left it. A rather comfy looking chair sat against the right wall with a small table, across from a tall bookcase that had been stripped bare of its contents. I looked forward to filling the bookcase once again. One of the first places I wanted to visit after I started getting paid was Flourish and Blotts. I couldn’t remember if I had even set foot in there once, as books weren’t likely to fetch much and were too heavy as to make good targets for picking, but I had always longed to go in and browse the shelves. Now I would finally have the chance.

 

Just a few feet away from the bookshelf was another door, which Fred opened to show a small walk-in closet. On the other side of the door was a full-length mirror as well, more than I thought was probably necessary, but I figured it might come in handy some day. About halfway between the dresser and the closet door sat a fairly large bed, the head of which was shoved up against the wall, under a window that looked out onto Diagon Alley.

 

Fred took his leave of us so as to give us some space to say goodbye alone and so I could get adjusted to the new space. Once he was gone, Sirius sat the bag he was carrying on the bed and turned to face me. “So, this is it, is it?” he said with a soft, sad smile.

 

I smiled and shook my head, pulling a piece of folded parchment out of my pocket. I had taken the time to write out a letter to him the night before, pouring my feelings and my gratitude onto the paper. He took the parchment and was about to open it when I stopped him and shook my head. I wanted him to read it in the privacy of his home, so that maybe, just maybe, that big, cold space wouldn’t feel so lonely anymore. He smiled as he hesitated for just a moment before he asked, “Could I … would it be alright if I gave you a hug?”

 

I beamed as I stepped forward and flung my arms around the older wizard, gripping him tightly as tears threatened to make an appearance. I appreciated his consideration, because it was rather hard for me to deal with people touching me, but I desperately wanted to say goodbye in some meaningful way. It was hard for me to trust people after everything I had gone through, but Sirius had stuck true to his word, and because of him I felt like it might be possible to trust again. At least, I felt that I could trust him, anyway. Anyone else … I wasn’t completely sold on yet. I would try my best - especially if Sirius trusted them - but it was rather hard to shut up that internal voice that constantly warned against anything that would invoke pain.

 

As we parted, Sirius set his hand on my shoulder. “If you need anything, Rue, and I do mean _anything_ … don’t hesitate to ask. I am so very sorry that I could not be there for your mother, my dear friend, after her husband’s passing. The best I can do is to be there now for you.” Sirius had never talked much about my mother, aside from the fact that they had been friends before his imprisonment in Azkaban. And likewise, I had never heard my mother speak of him, though I supposed since he had been a convicted murderer at the time, she probably didn’t want to be heard speaking favourably of him. But, the few times that she did come up, Sirius always got a misty, nostalgic look about him. I suspected that perhaps they’d been closer than he’d really let on, but I didn’t press him. Perhaps one day he would feel open enough to share his memories of my mother, memories that pre-dated me, but for now I was content enough with his friendship and support.

 

As Sirius showed himself out, calling out a goodbye to Fred as he left, I stood there in the empty room, observing my new residence. Carefully, I set the bag I carried on the bed, sighing as I wondered where to even start. First things first, I pulled off my coat and draped it across the chair, as it was already warm enough in the apartment. I then set myself to task, pulling things out of my bags so that I could sort them and put them away. I had a little bit of strategy when I was packing, but I didn’t really need much as I didn’t have a lot to pack as it was. One of the bags was mostly clothes, along with toiletries and the box with my mum’s remaining jewelry in it. I had tied it closed with a scarf, just to make sure that the contents wouldn’t spill into the bag. I spent much of my time going through the clothes, deciding which ones needed to be hung up in the closet and which ones I could simply fold and put in the drawers. Even though the room was smaller than Regulus’, it was still far more than I really _needed_ at the moment. I supposed, given time, I might be able to fill it out. But for now, even when I fully unpacked, it would still be a bit bare.

 

After I finally got all of my clothes put away, I opened my other bag and started pulling out my books and copious notes that I’d taken while studying. I set them on the bookshelf, the notes carefully piled on one of the shelves and the books on another, though they sadly didn’t even take up the full shelf. I decided to set my mum’s jewelry box on the shelf next to the books, to act as a bookend of sorts so they didn’t all fall over. One day I wouldn’t even need a bookend, and I would likely transfer the box to reside on top of the dresser. With my toiletries, for now I set them on the dresser. When I got a chance, I would put them in the bathroom. At the moment, after unpacking everything, after the long, drawn out goodbye earlier and the transition of moving, all I really felt like doing was flopping onto the bed to rest for moment. Twilight was setting in outside, enough so that the streetlights were starting to flicker on to accommodate the late night patrons of Diagon Alley. I watched the deepening shadows on the ceiling as I contemplated my new life. Several months ago, I would have never imagined that I’d be in the position I was now, free of my stepfather, with a job and a place to stay, making my own way in life instead of being forced to follow along with someone else’s plan for me, as pathetic as it was. There were times were that kind of freedom felt scary, intimidating, and overwhelming. But, in some quiet moments, like this one, the vastness felt like a wonderful rush of possibilities. Even though there had been several moments that had been far more instrumental in getting me to this point, I felt like now I was truly at the cusp of everything in my life finally changing. And for once I felt ready for it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating this. In case you didn't know, I FINALLY FINISHED MY CAPTAIN AMERICA FIC! I was so pumped, and I was in the midst of doing some one-shots and some other things. I suppose it worked out as I hit a bit of a writer's block with this story, so I focused on some other creative things while I thought of the direction change this story is starting to take and exactly how I wanted to take it. So, here you go! I hope the wait was worth it. :)

That night was certainly … interesting. Besides my house, the only other place I’d really slept for the night (without any calming draught) was Sirius’ house. It was very strange settling down into yet another new place. At Sirius’ house it had been dead quiet, something that I’d found quite relaxing. It had been difficult sometimes to sleep while living with my step-father, as he would hold raucous parties or otherwise be loud and obnoxious, knowing he was being inconsiderate and not caring a bit. Being at Grimmauld Place had been a nice respite. Here, though, it was different yet again. The window above the bed looked out onto Diagon Alley, and so there were still some people roaming the streets, even with the shop below closed. In fact, most of the shops had closed up for the night, but Diagon Alley did have a small residential district and so people came and went at all hours, I presumed. I hoped it wouldn’t get too loud, but considering The Leaky Caldron was nearby … well, I could always hope.

 

The first night wasn’t too bad, just lots of footsteps, some conversation, a bark of laughter here and there. I tossed and turned for a bit, trying to settle down, and eventually I did, the room itself bathed in the soft light of the street lamps outside.

 

The next morning, I dressed quickly in a pair of fleece leggings for the warmth and a deep blue jumper. It was a tad large on me, meant for someone taller and more broad shouldered, but it would do. I simply pushed up the sleeves a bit so my hands were free and pulled the sides of my hair back so it would stay out of my face. I hoped this was good enough for my first day of work as I pulled on some socks and boots, anticipating being on my feet all day. That was a good assumption, as the twins certainly did keep me busy, introducing me to their inventory, their system of storing it, and how to stock and restock the floor. It was a whirlwind of information that I hoped I actually remembered half of it. By the time the shop was closed, I felt dead on my feet, not used to this kind of exertion anymore. I had been stuck inside reading books for weeks, but now I was running around, taking note of stock, and carrying boxes everywhere. If I said I was exhausted, surely that was an understatement as to how I truly felt. I hoped that I could keep up this pace; I really needed this job and this place to stay, and I was determined to not let the Weasley’s down, especially since I had attempted to steal from them before. I really did feel bad about that, and this would be a way for me to repay them.

 

I ran a bath that evening and slowly peeled off my clothes, fighting to keep my eyes open as I lowered myself into the hot water. My muscles were sore and protested any movement, though they sighed in relief at the heat. I laid there for a few minutes, letting the heat permeate my body until I felt like I could move enough to wash my hair and body. I made quick work of it and got out, not wanting to hog the bathroom from my new roommate. It simply wouldn’t do to already get on his nerves for taking too much time in the shared bathroom. After I tried off and towel dried my hair, my curls bouncing as they became simply damp instead of soaking. There weren’t many tangles to sort out, thankfully, thanks to the lovely conditioner that had been gifted to me, and so it wasn’t but a moment later that I gathered my discarded clothes and stepped out of the bathroom.

 

I almost literally ran into Fred as I went to go into my room. He’d been eating at the small table under the kitchen window and was on his way to his room to relax for the evening. “Oi, sorry!” he said as he drew back just in time. I jumped, almost running right into his chest. I smiled to let him know it was okay before I ducked into my room, blushing slightly. I didn’t even feel like eating anything as I simply dressed for bed and fell into it, barely remembering to pull the blankets up before I fell asleep. The outside commotion didn’t bother me tonight as I was asleep within minutes.

 

I kept about the same schedule for the next few weeks, waking early and scarfing down a quick breakfast before I tended to the inventory. The twins were definitely more suited to simply running the shop, as I saw several different ways I could improve their inventory system and, with their permission, I started implementing some changes. It was a lot of work, and required me spending extra time in the back, after the store had closed. But I was determined to prove my worth to them. At first, the work I was putting in to make changes was overwhelming. But I tackled it relentlessly and little by little I realized I was accomplishing it. When I was done, it would really help everybody in the end. But until then I was stuck in the warehouse, squatting on the cold floor as I scribbled notes and sorted through boxes and labeled endlessly.

 

One evening, I was sitting cross-legged on a sturdy box as I counted and sorted several boxes in front of me, aligning closer and closer to the floor plan that I had envisioned. It still wasn’t complete - I was maybe halfway done with the revamp - but I still had to do regular inventory and stock work in between this. I could have gotten it done faster had this been the only thing I concentrated on during the day, but I couldn’t forgo my other duties for this. So in between rushes and delivering boxes of stock, I’d duck around the shelves and observe their contents and notate things in my notebook so that I could tend to it later. Now the rush was gone and the twins were doing their nightly closing routine and I was back here putting all of my concentration into my new system. So deep was I in my note taking and counting that I jumped when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. Whipping around, I saw Fred standing there, smiling. “Hey, why don’t you knock off a little early tonight?”

 

He’d noticed that I’d been pulling some late hours. It had been rough in the beginning, but I had quickly gotten used to it. I flipped to a new page in my notebook and wrote, _I will when I get this finished._

 

“Well don’t take too long, you’ve been invited to my family’s house tonight.” My questioning look was enough, I didn’t even have to write what I wanted to know. He laughed as he said, “It’s Christmas Eve, Rue.” He chuckled at my surprised expression. “My mum usually invites family over to spend the night Christmas Eve so we’re all together for Christmas. She invites a few other people as well, and this year that includes you.”

 

I blushed furiously and quickly scribbled, _Just give me a few minutes with this and I’ll be up._

 

I hadn’t really been prepared for something like this. Hell, I hadn’t even realized what day it was. I’d at least had the presence of mind to go out and get a few things the week before, and I’d picked up a couple of presents that I thought I’d like to give to a few people. I just hadn’t anticipated that Christmas would come this quickly. I guess I had been too wrapped up in my work to notice. I would have to hurry and wrap them up before we left. So, I hurried through the rest of the boxes that I was adding in to my inventory and quickly put them back on the shelves before I rushed back up the stairs. Fred was in the bathroom, washing up no doubt, but I didn’t really need a bath at the moment. Instead I closed my door as I entered my room, opening one of the dresser’s drawers that I had stashed the presents and paper in. I had some leftover clear tape from the warehouse, and I worked as quickly as I could to neatly fold and wrap the gifts, hoping that the recipients would be happy with them. I hadn’t previously known how I would get them to their owners, but it seemed most of them would be present at the Weasley’s house. I would have to ask Sirius about how to get a present to Ludo, since I figured he likely would be one of the few if not the only recipient not present at their house. As such, I left his gift unwrapped for now. If he proved me wrong and I needed to, I could always run back and grab it, it was small enough that it wouldn’t take but a moment to wrap.

 

After I was done, I threw open my closet to see what I should wear. And, hell, what I should _pack_ , as it seemed I would be staying the night. I’d already thrown my robe and nightgown in my pack, along with a book to read. I grabbed a white long-sleeved shirt to pull on for now and grabbed a large tartan shawl that I could wrap around myself to keep warm. My black fleece leggings were still clean - I had just donned them this morning and fortunately hadn’t dug too deep into the warehouse as to collect dust and dirt on them. After pondering it for a moment, I grabbed a red sweater dress that actually fit me well and a pair of black tights to go with them, picking up the pair of black flats to wear with them as I carefully folded everything and put them in my pack. After that, I included my gifts and anything else I thought I might need, and with that I was ready.

 

A light knocking proceeded Fred’s voice on the other side of the door. “Hey, Rue, knock on something twice if I can come in.” I leaned over and rapped my knuckles twice against the bookshelf to let him know if was safe to enter. He was wearing a nice, almost form fitting green jumper embroidered with a “G” and I looked at it curiously but didn’t move for my parchment to ask. Knowing the twins the way I was getting to know them, he was probably up to something with George, and I wasn’t about to be pulled into it. “You ready?” he asked.

 

I nodded, grabbing my pack and wrapping my shawl around me. The bitter chill wasn’t hanging in the air quite like it had been, so I figured I wouldn’t really need a coat for the quick apparition it would take to get to his parents’ house. I followed him down the stairs and he locked the back door behind us before he turned and offered his hand. I took it and braced myself for the odd squeezing sensation that accompanied apparition and within moments we were standing on the front steps of Arthur and Molly Weasley’s house.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the incredibly long delay in updating this. I got busy with some other works, then life just kind of got in the way, then when I was finally ready to sit down and write, my keyboard stopped working! Argh! I got another one, though, so here it is. Expect a wave of updates for the rest of my works (hopefully).

Dinner at the Weasley’s house seemed to be always a bit of a lavish affair, Christmas Eve doubly so. Besides the twins - and George’s girlfriend, Angelina - Ron and Hermione Weasley made a reappearance as did Harry and Ginny Potter. Bill was back with his wife, Fleur, and Percy was there as well along with his fiancee, Audrey. Charlie, it seemed, had stayed over the past few weeks instead of returning to Romania, so he got the rare treat of being home for the holidays. Sirius was also there, sitting next to Harry and deep in conversation, though he had winked at me when Fred and I first entered.

 

Mrs. Weasley put on the spread, as usual. A large turkey was parked in the middle of the table with various side dishes all around. She really made sure that everyone got their fill and then some. I was almost too full for even dessert, but I managed a small piece of her amazing pie. After dinner was done, everyone sat at the table for a little while before we made our way to the living room to listen to music and talk. Well, for everyone else to talk and for me to listen. I didn’t really mind, though, I had a piece of parchment and quill stashed on me just in case, but I rarely needed it. It was nice to just relax for once and not have to be constantly thinking about work.

 

Later that night, as I sipped a cup of hot cocoa while looking outside at the falling snow, Sirius approached me, setting his hand on my shoulder. “I’ve been meaning to ask, how have you been doing?”

 

I smiled and set down my mug, pulling out my parchment and quill to reply, _I’ve been well. I’m currently working on rearranging the inventory._

 

He chuckled. “That sounds like a big job.”

 

I shrugged and wrote, _It is, but it keeps me busy._ I paused a moment before I asked, _Do you see Ludo often?_

 

“Here and there, I do. Why do you ask?”

 

_I have a present for him, but I don’t know how to get it to him._

 

He smiled gently as he assured me, “If you give it to me, I’ll make sure that it is delivered.”

 

I smiled in thanks, nodding as I picked up my mug to take another sip of the homemade concoction. I remembered my last real Christmas very vividly, despite the passing of years. My mother had always tried her best to make it a nice holiday, despite any nastiness from my step-father. Instead of insisting we all stay in and be together as a family, she was more than happy to shove him out of the house and bid him to stay with his friends and get drunk and enjoy their company. He always seemed a bit suspicious of that but he never gave it any thought as he just wanted to drink and carouse to his heart’s content, and if his new wife wasn’t going to put up a fight then he damn sure wasn’t, either. When he was finally gone, she decorated the house in a flurry, hanging holly and mistletoe and wreaths everywhere, not to mention a large tree in the parlor. We didn’t have much in the way of presents, but just being together and in peace and quiet was nice enough. We’d snuggled under quilts and drank tea in front of a roaring fire as we laughed and she told me stories until we both fell asleep.

 

Of course, when my step-father returned a couple of days later, he trashed the place, throwing my mother’s carefully placed decorations everywhere. He didn’t like anything that didn’t have to do with him, and the thought that we’d celebrated something without him enraged him. It was worth it, however, and I’d held those last good memories in my mind since then. I hadn’t known it at the time, of course, but that was the last Christmas I would ever spend with my mother. She was gone by the next autumn, and the Christmas holidays that followed were far from happy. But I’d held on, hoping that one day I wouldn’t have to suffer through yet another one. Each year got more difficult, but this year my hope had finally come true.

 

As I snuggled underneath the quilts of the guest bed that I was sleeping in - sharing a room with Fred and Sirius, the only other people without a significant other - I mused that I was in a far better place than I could have even imagined. I smiled as I closed my eyes, listening to the remnants of hushed conversations around the house as everyone else settled down for the night.

 

Despite being in yet another new place, I slept pretty well that night. I felt safe and warm and comfortable as I was bundled up under the blankets, pulling the quilts all the way up to my chin. I awoke with a start when someone jumped on my bed. “Oi, Rue, time to get up! It’s Christmas!”

 

I blinked a couple of times to see one of the twins sitting on the bed, grinning at me. Despite the “G” on his jumper, I knew it was Fred, and I smirked as I sat up. I had realized what their game was when I realized that George was wearing a jumper with an “F” on it … they were trying to confuse their mother, a game that worked, much to Molly’s frustration. It seemed they were continuing the ruse this morning. I yawned as I pushed back the warm blankets, shivering slightly as I stood and stretched. Fred bounced away as he yelled behind him, “Breakfast is ready, hurry up!” It was then I realized that the most delicious smell was winding its way through the residence, and I put off getting dressed in favour of grabbing a shawl and wrapping it around me as I made my way to the dining room. It seemed I wasn’t the only one to forego getting dressed as the only people not dressed in pajamas in any way was Molly. Everyone else was wearing bathrobes or jumpers over top of their bed clothes and were in various states of waking up. Arthur in particular continued to yawn as he sipped on a mug of tea.

 

There were several plates full of sticky buns sitting on the table already, so I poured a mug of tea, added a splash of milk, and grabbed a bun of my own as I sat down. I smiled as I looked around the table at everyone eating and talking and laughing. I wish I could really join them, talk to them without a piece of parchment needed to communicate. Maybe one day I could. But for now I just enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere, knowing I wouldn’t have to go back to work just yet. Even though I had a lot of work ahead of me still, I was going to take the chance to relax since it was given to me.

 

The rest of the day followed in the same vein. Everyone exchanged presents and afterwards I finally got dressed for the day, twirling some curls around my fingers to try to revive them a little bit. My sweater dress had some nice pockets to stash some parchment and quills in, so I ended up talking with a lot more people than I’d thought. At first I’d thought that Ginny and Fleur were just reserved and quiet, but they could be quite the chatterboxes once they got going. Fleur was especially sweet and her accent was adorable. Living in England hadn’t rid her of her French lilt one bit. I ended up spending a good part of the day holed up in the kitchen with them and Molly, helping where I could and conversing when I got the chance, which they made an effort to provide. It was actually nice for once not having to stay back in the background and being able to interact. I felt good, confident, like this was real progress in my life. Such a difference from just several months ago.

 

Bill and Fleur, along with Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny, left that evening. Sirius left the next morning, right before Percy and Audrey. The twins, Angelina, and Charlie decided to spend Boxing Day at the Weasley house, however, so I stayed as well, thankful that Molly had gifted me with a deep blue jumper emblazoned with an “R” so I didn’t have to wear my white long-sleeved shirt again. The wool she’d knit it with was very soft, and it felt like I was wearing a nice blanket with how warm it was. Everyone mostly lounged in the living room, munching on leftovers and listening to the radio. It was the best holiday I’d had in a long while.

 

It was close to sunset when George and Angelina left, and Fred mentioned we should probably get going as well. I packed up the few things I’d bought and soon joined him to say goodbye. Molly had some leftovers for us ready to go - as she had with everyone else - and she gave me a big hug as we went to leave. Charlie was staying the night, intending to go back to Romania in the morning, so this would give them some nice one-on-one time with their son, since they so rarely got to see him anymore.

 

A chill was starting to set in as we returned to Diagon Alley, apparating in the alley in back of the shop. I shivered as Fred fumbled with the keys for a second before he got the door open, and he held it and motioned me inside before he followed. I was grateful for the head start into warmth as we trudged up the stairs to the little apartment above the shop. I wasn’t sure how busy things would be tomorrow, but I hoped it wouldn’t be bad. I needed a bath and taking a nice soak sounded like a wonderful idea, an excellent cap to the end of the holiday. I helped Fred put away the food we were given, but right as I had set the last of it in the cupboard, a clatter of harsh voices started up outside, undoubtedly drunk patrons from The Leaky Cauldron starting up an argument in the street below. I flinched hard, the yelling eerily too reminiscent of my previous life, where my step-father would find anything to yell about, whether to me or anyone else. My breathing picked up as I shut my eyes, willing the memories to leave me alone as I pressed my hands to my ears, unable to block out how I’d felt doing the exact same thing as I cowered in my little closet room at the foot of the stairs, hoping that whatever was angering my step-father he wouldn’t feel the need to take it out on me.

 

As I tried to calm myself down, I distantly heard another voice, a calmer voice calling my name. “Rue? Rue!” I flinched as I felt hands on my shoulders, but as I opened my eyes I saw only Fred, concern knitted in his brow as he looked at me. “Are you alright?” he asked.

 

I felt frozen for just a moment, but afterward I immediately felt the need to _move_. I quickly moved across the dining room area, burst into my room, and shut the door, leaning against the door frame and breathing heavy for a moment before I flung myself on my bed, trying desperately to shield myself from wave after wave of memories that I’d been ignoring for so long. I thought that since everything that had happened that things were okay, that I was okay. Clearly I was mistaken if just _hearing_ a shouting match between strangers triggered this reaction in me. I curled into a ball as darker thoughts stalked around me, threatening to overtake me. I tried to assure myself that this was temporary, it was just one setback, it still wasn’t all that long since I’d gotten out of that situation so something like this was bound to happen.

 

Later that evening, I heard a knock on the door and Fred’s voice as he asked, “Hey, Rue, knock twice if I can come in, yeah?” I didn’t move to reply, though, not wanting to face him after my little freak out. I didn’t come out for the rest of the evening, the idea of a bath forgotten in the wake of unearthed emotions that I’d been burying for so long. Instead, I simply laid there as dusk gave way to night, not even bothering to undress as the night wore on, simply lying there as eventually drifted off into a troubled sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

I awoke early the next morning, unable to force myself to sleep any more than I already had. I dressed quickly and stood at my bedroom door for a moment, listening intently to see if I could hear any activity in the kitchen area. Everything seemed quiet, however, so I took a chance and opened my door. Confirming that the coast was clear, I didn’t bother with breakfast and headed straight down to the warehouse. I knew the twins were expecting some shipments today anyway, and sure enough they were waiting by the back door already. It took a little while - and a lot of sweat - to get all the boxes moved into the warehouse, and I sat for a moment to take a quick break while I took out the inventory paperwork and noted their arrival, confirming the counts for each box. I was so wrapped up in my work already, I didn’t even hear anyone approach me, not until a hand alighted on my shoulder, causing me to almost jump out of my skin.

 

“Whoa, it’s just me!” Fred exclaimed, holding his hands up. I relaxed a little, but I was still a bit on high alert since the night before. I held up the inventory sheet to show him what all I had accounted for so far, which I had almost finished by this point, and he scanned the list, mentally noting what they had received. “Thank you, excellent work,” he complimented. “But I wanted to check on you, see if you were okay? Last night you seemed upset, I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

 

I nodded tightly, just barely enough to qualify for a nod. I didn’t really want to dwell on it too much, but I let a hint of a smile shine through, enough I hoped to placate him.

 

He didn’t look quite sure if he accepted my answer, but he nodded and said, “Alright. Just … if you ever need to talk - er, _write_ \- things out, you can always come to me. Or George. I know most folks think we’re just good for a few laughs, but we can be serious, too.”

 

I nodded stiffly again, taking the list back from him and getting back to work. Fred retreated to the front to get the store ready for open. I’d heard George open the front door just a little bit before, and I heard them boisterously greet each other as Fred walked into the shop area. I smiled and shook my head slightly; they certainly were a trip and a half, even as bosses. I had to wonder just how serious they could be. Fred’s words kept echoing in my head as I finished up the final count and started distributing the products, either stocking them in the back to pulling some to the front. The Christmas season had really depleted their stock, so the next few days were going to be filled with restocking, not leaving much time for working on my plan for the warehouse layout. Oh well, I would get it all done eventually, a few days lost wouldn’t affect it too much one way or another, especially if I worked late, which I wasn’t opposed to doing.

 

Between running back and forth between the shop and the warehouse and unboxing and sorting, the day got away from me entirely. Before I knew it, the twins were closing up shop and George was calling out goodbye before he left. I was initially planning on continuing to work for at least a couple of more house, but Fred would apparently have none of it. “You’ve been working a little too hard lately, you need to relax,” he insisted as he pulled me up the stairs and towards the apartment. “Girls like baths, right?” he asked and I nodded, though also gestured to indicate I didn’t know what he was getting at and was a bit clueless. “Well good. I had a bath last night, so I want you to take as long a bath as you want. We have leftovers for dinner, I’ll set those out and you can get whatever you want _when you’re done_ ,” he cautioned as he pushed me into the bathroom. “Now _relax_. Please.”

 

I didn’t quite know what to think as he closed the door behind him, but there was really only one thing to do. So I turned around and started up the bath, making the water as hot as I could stand it before I let it fill up the tub. I was glad that I at least kept a robe and towel in the bathroom, I wouldn’t have to grab anything from my room. It seemed that Fred was adamant about me taking my time, so I would do exactly as he suggested. It wasn’t like I couldn’t work late another night. Perhaps I did need to take a little time to relax.

 

I hissed a little as I lowered myself into the steaming heat. The temperature was just under scalding, just how I liked it. I had been washing with cold water for far too long, so now I relished every moment of heat. Leaning against the edge of the tub, I closed my eyes as I let the steam surround me, sinking as deep into the water as I could stand. It seemed like it would have been easy to relax, but as my mind started wandering, it wandered right back to last night, and that feeling of vulnerability and hopelessness threatened to take over me once again. I sniffed, feeling a lone tear course down my cheek, but it wasn’t alone for long as more followed. I cried as quietly as possible, covering the worst of my heaving sobs with splashing in the tub, hoping that if Fred did hear, he thought I was just washing. I’m not even sure how long I spent wrestling with myself, trying to get my emotions back under control, but as soon as the worst of it was under, I dunked under the water. While under, I opened my eyes, seeing the hazy light of the bathroom seeping through the water, obscured only by my dark hair floating overhead. Somehow, being under the water, in the inherent quiet that came with it, I started to relax a little bit. If only I could carry this kind of peace with me everywhere, maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about freaking out again.

 

My lungs eventually started to burn and so I surfaced, pushing my hair out of my face. I did feel a little better, I supposed, but I couldn’t help the cloud of melancholy that still threatened to blanket me as I washed my hair. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard the shouting now, whether it was my stepfather or a stranger it didn’t matter, it all made me feel the same … small, vulnerable, scared. It was something I’d felt for most of my life, something I thought I’d left behind.

 

I was wrong.

 

As I finished up bathing, I sat in the tub for a few minutes more, but I was starting to feel restless and the bath was no longer enjoyable. So I pulled the plug and got out, towel drying my hair before combing a few knots out of it. I looked myself in the mirror as I pulled my robe around me. I even _looked_ different than I had while living with my stepfather. So how could I still feel the same? How could something so simple like a shouting match between strangers trigger so many memories? Was I really so different than the girl who’d grown up stealing and dealing with the black market? I had felt different … I had thought. But now I was cloaked in a blanket of anxiety that brought me back to when Sirius had initially led me out of that house and deposited me at St. Mungo’s.

 

I leaned over the sink in the bathroom, willing myself to take deep breaths and calm down. I couldn’t panic now, there was nothing to even panic over, just my own stupid thoughts and memories, memories that couldn’t harm me, or so I’d thought.

 

I looked back up at the mirror, suppressing the trembling in my body as best I could. Was I really so different now? I hadn’t done much since I had left the old estate. Sure, I had a job and a room in an apartment, but that was only because they had been offered to me. I hadn’t done anything to actually go out and find a job or a place to live, I hadn’t even touched my studies since I left Sirius’ house. When I thought about it, I felt like I had accomplished so little in all this time. Maybe this was why I felt the way I did, maybe that’s why little things could get to me. But where to begin rebuilding myself? Even I didn’t know, and later as I crawled into bed after eating my fill of dinner, the question still haunted me, lingering in my thoughts well into the night.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the extended delay in updating this. I was using my NaNoWriMo time to expedite my updates for all my WIP fics, but Rue just isn't a muse that can be pushed like that. And even though I met the NaNo goal of 50k words written on 11/18, between the holidays and getting sick and the post-NaNoWriMo slump, I had a little trouble getting back into the game. BUT, this chapter is a little longer than normal, so I hope y'all forgive me. :)

I had to talk.

 

The thought had occurred to me as I’d laid in bed the previous night, tossing and turning, fighting to try to sleep despite the events of the previous couple of days. Like a lightning bolt out of nowhere, it came to me. It was one of my biggest hangups, the most obvious scar leftover from my ill treatment, and if I was going to trulymove on and flourish, I needed to get past it. Of course, that thought, in and of itself, seemed entirely logical. The thought of putting it into practice, however, terrified me. Just the thought of speaking made my heart race, threatening to send me into a blind panic. It was a learned response, which meant it could be unlearned, I just didn’t quite know how to go about it.

 

Despite my fear, I knew deep down that I was right. That I needed to do this, no matter what. I wanted to feel normal, right? To forge a life of my own? This was simply part of it and as difficult as it was, I had to accept it.

 

As I went through my normal routine the next day, the prospect of what I needed to do loomed ever present in the back of my mind. Fred seemed to give me a bit of a wide berth during the day, but that evening once again he ushered me back up to our apartment, not letting me work any overtime. I didn’t know if he thought my little breakdown was due to working too much or if he thought the overtime was weighing too much on me on top of everything, but either way I did appreciate the gesture. He and his brother and really their entire family had been more than generous in how they’d treated me, especially considering I’d been caught stealing from them. That had not been my experience, typically people tended to screw you over the first chance they got, but the Weasleys - and the Potters and Sirius Black - had continually proven otherwise. It made me want to trust this, to relax a little bit, and so when Fred insisted I quit working for the night, I didn’t protest as I followed him up to our shared apartment. If anything, it was a welcome relief that I didn’t have to keep pushing myself as hard as I had been, that I could step back and breathe a little bit as I tried to figure out the next steps I had to take.

 

The rest of the week passed in a blur and the weekend rush settled in with not quite the same force as it had in previous weeks. Now that Christmas had come and gone, the hum of activity was at a minimum. Most of the people coming and going were the ones who had failed to stock up on the Weasley’s fireworks collection for the new year before Christmas break. It actually allowed me a nice chance to forge ahead in my plans for the organization of the warehouse, and seeing the progress was actually heartening, in a way. It showed me that I was positively contributing, that even though I was simply handed the job, I wasn’t lazying about or putting in minimal effort. Rather, I was making a concerted effort to not only fulfill my job requirements but to go above and beyond. I wasn’t worthless, and I was hellbent on proving it.

 

On Sunday, the twins decided to knock off and close early, due to lack of customers. They had only had a few guests after they opened, and the shop had been absolutely dead for a solid three hours before they called it quits. Fred, as usual, wouldn’t let me keep working in the back. I had asked him about that earlier that week, and he’d said that while he appreciated my drive and my effort, it wasn’t really necessary at the moment. “Besides,” he’d added, “you gotta have a life of your own, you know.”

 

A life of my own. Like I even knew what that was or what it meant to have that. But, I supposed, I would have to figure it out, myself.

 

That Sunday afternoon, as I retired briefly to my room after being shooed up the stairs, I spotted my wand on the bookshelf, sitting next to my notes. I’d placed it there after it had been purchased and hadn’t picked it up since, having no real reason to. Most wizards and witches constantly kept theirs on them, but I hadn’t been able to properly cast one spell yet, so what was the use? I had been so busy I hadn’t even been able to practice at all, but it seemed I was presented with the time now, so why not take it?

 

The wand practically thrummed in my hand as I picked it up, and my heart trilled at the sensation, hoping that was a good sign. I took out my notes and started reading them over again and again, making sure I remembered the techniques that I was trying to perform. Once I was sure I remembered, and after giving a flew test flicks with my wand, I grabbed an unused quill and set it on my bed, standing at the foot as I took a deep breath. I adjusted my stance ever so slightly into something comfortable, loosened up my shoulders, and raised my wand. _Well, here goes nothing,_ I thought as I mentally spoke the spell and followed through with the motion with my wand.

 

And precisely nothing did happen. The quill remained motionless on the bed, stubbornly still. It hadn’t even flinched with my efforts. A little frustrated, I raised my wand and tried again. And again. And again. And each time, I got the same result. I tried tweaking my technique, approaching the spell from different angles, but each attempt got me no closer to my goal. No matter what I did, the quill refused to budge. I screwed my face into a look of concentration as I poured all of my energy into tapping into the inner magic that I _knew_ I possessed. After all, I was able to apparate, why shouldn’t I be able to do something as simple as levitate a quill? This was, quite literally, a year one spell. Entry level Hogwarts students were expected to be able to easily master this. I’d bet there were some who were able to do it on their first try. But me? After countless tries, I still was no closer to performing a simple levitation spell.

 

I stamped my foot and huffed in frustration, a dull headache slowly starting to form right behind my eyes. I sighed, reaching up to rub my forehead, wondering just where the hell I was going wrong, here. Suddenly, I heard from the kitchen, “Oi! What’s going on with you?”

 

My eyes flicked over to my door, which I had left slightly propped open, having no reason to close it completely. Fred was standing there, leaning on the door post, a slight smirk alighting on his face. I sighed heavily, turning to grab a piece of parchment before I wrote out, _Can’t seem to do a spell._

 

He tilted his head ever so slightly as he read my response. “You need help?”

 

_Sirius tried to help me but I still can’t get anywhere with a first year spell._

 

Fred bit his lip. “Well, sometimes you need a fresh set of eyes, yeah?”

 

That did seem logical, but I just couldn’t see what he might possibly be able to suggest that either Sirius or the various authors that I’d read had suggested. But I really had nothing to lose at this point, considering my complete lack of success in doing anything magic-related other than apparating. _What a fine witch I’m turning out to be._ I nodded, consenting to his help, and he smiled as he entered my room.

 

“So, what spell are you trying?”

 

_Wingardium Leviosa._

 

“Ah, I see. Lemme see your form.”

 

I nodded as I raised my wand and took a deep breath before I went through the standard flick and swish movements described in both the books and shown to me by Sirius. In my mind, it was exact to the movements that Sirius had shown me and that I had been trying to mirror since. I felt nervous now that I was under Fred’s studious eye, more so than when Sirius had been observing me, and I was suddenly worried that I was doing something wrong, that I was somehow missing something.

 

But Fred had nothing but praise for my technique. “Looks fantastic. So what happens when you try performing the spell?”

 

I rolled my eyes as I wrote, _Nothing._

 

“Hmmm,” he hummed as he pondered for a moment. “And you know how to pronounce it properly, right? Enunciation is important.”

 

_Sirius taught me how._

 

He nodded, squinting slightly as he thought. He stayed silent for a minute, crossing his arms as he looked over at the quill. “Rue, exactly how are you performing the spell silently?”

 

_What do you mean? I think the spell with the correct enunciation in rhythm with the wand movements. Sirius showed me how it went so I had something to go off of._

 

“No, I mean, exactly _how_ are you silently doing it? Is it just thought?”

 

His question had me puzzled. Just what else was a silent spell? _Well, yes. How else do you do it?_

 

He smirked. “Granted, some wizards and witches can simply think the spell, but most of us that do silent spellwork, there’s a certain … strain, if you will, that we put on our vocal cords. Like we’re about to speak, but we stop short before we actually do. They don’t usually mention that part in books because it’s such a basic part of it, nobody really _thinks_ to, ya know? Like, they don’t really mention needing to raise your wand, either, they just assume you do it.”

 

I nodded, following along, the revelation dawning on me. I hadn’t been doing anything _wrong_ , per se, I just hadn’t been given complete information. In spellwork, a small detail like that was essentially like leaving out half the incantation. But could I even do it? I hadn’t verbally said anything in years, the thought itself making me feel queasy. My heart rate sped up ever so slightly and I desperately try to separate the two actions of _actually speaking_ versus putting that slight strain on my vocal cords. It really wasn’t the same, no actual sound would be produced. I was pretty sure that, in the heat of the moment, I had subconsciously done so while my step-father was working me over, wanting to beg him to stop but unable to to do so.

 

“Rue, can you … are you able to do that?”

 

I bit my lip as I contemplated it. I _should_ , yes, but the thought of consciously even getting that close to speaking had my heart racing. My hands shook ever so slightly and without realizing it I was starting to breathe heavier, enough that even Fred noticed.

 

“Hey, Rue, it’s okay, calm down,” he said as he set a hand on my shoulder, drawing my eyes up to meet his. “Maybe take a break, yeah? Come back to it later?”

 

I shook my head, my mind set as I gathered the determination I needed to push myself past this. Everything involving my entrance back into wizarding society had involved pushing myself out of my comfort zone, so why should this be any different? Even though my hand shook slightly with my motion, I raised my wand once more, determined to do this. I took a few deep breaths, working up the nerve to do this. _Now or never, Rue. Do it._ Putting what I hoped was the necessary level of strain on my vocal cords, I recited the spell in my head in time with the wand movements, hoping for a miracle.

 

Whether it was a miracle, or things just falling into place, the quill gently lifted into the air, tugged against its normal gravitational pull merely by the magic I generated. I almost gasped and lost control of it I smiled, Fred whooping beside me. “I knew you could do it!” he exclaimed as he threw his arms around me, causing me to lose control of the quill as it tumbled unceremoniously to the floor. It didn’t matter, though, I had finally done it, and my heart soared with hope. Perhaps I really could do this after all. The next step was re-learning how to speak. That was a much more daunting prospect, but as I hugged Fred back, I felt confident enough to revel in my victory of the moment instead of focusing on future worries.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm well aware I haven't updated this since December ... *hangs head in shame* I apologize, I really do. I don't mean to go so long between updates, I was trying like hell to finish up a couple of ongoing stories that were close to being finished, and now that I have I can try to update all those that are overdue, starting with this one! Of course, Camp Nano is also just around the corner, and I have another new story coming out for that, but I promise I will try not to let this get so far behind, especially because the chapters don't tend to be very long. :)

Over the next few weeks, I practiced every night before I went to bed, just simple spells that were geared toward beginners of magic. Each new one presented a learning curve, but Fred was always willing to teach me, showing me wand movements and how to correctly enunciate the spells. There was always a little trial and error when it came to how much strain to put on my vocal chords at which parts of the spells, but once I got the hang of it, it got much easier. After some time, Fred started bringing me new spells to learn and quizzing me on the ones I’d already mastered. I’d told him I wanted to study to take the N.E.W.T.s when I could, and though he’d scoffed saying, “George and I didn’t take those and you see where we are now?” But, he still supported me, sensing that it was important to me. Maybe it was silly, but to me, if I was able to do well in those tests, then I felt that I could truly be free, no matter what. If the Weasley’s business went under for whatever reason, or if it was sold and I wasn’t kept on staff, I would have nowhere to go, about as well off as I was with my step-father. I wanted to make sure I could take care of myself no matter what happened, and I felt they would offer me a sense of independence, a foundation I could build on should I need to.

 

As February began wrapping up, I finally finished my organization of the stock room, and I got to give the twin brothers a tour, showing them exactly what I’d done. They were quite impressed with what I’d been able to do, with how much neater and easier to find things were, and I was even able to point out some ordering inefficiencies that could help them out financially. “Wow, this is amazing!” Fred gushed, looking over my suggestion of an ordering schedule. “It all makes sense, I guess … I guess we just never really sat down and _thought_ about it, y’know?” He flashed me a wide grin and my cheeks grew hot, though I wasn’t exactly sure why. This accomplishment made me feel good, made me feel like I was really contributing in some meaningful way, that I wasn’t just ambling along in a job that was given to me. I had hated having to steal, and I felt working hard was part of my redemption. Truly, I deserved to be locked up in Azkaban, especially considering the breadth of my misdeeds. Whatever had made Harry Potter and his associates offer me this chance, I couldn’t say. But I was going to take it and run with it, show them that their faith was not misplaced.

 

That night, it was my turn to cook. Fred and I had started switching off every other night, and he was surprisingly very good at it. He credited it to all the times he was sneaking into the kitchen and stealing food while his mother was cooking. “You do that enough, you get enough peeks at how it’s made, you figure out how to make it yourself,” he’d told me while we had been digging into a delicious shepherd’s pie.

 

Tonight, I was planing on making a large batch of meat pies, enough so that we could have leftovers for lunch for the next few days. To me, it wasn’t worth the fuss of making them if they were all gone in one meal. I’d already made the dough in the morning, before I’d left the apartment, so it had a chance to sit and chill and would be ready to use by the time we got back. Sure enough, it was good to go, so I rolled it all out and got it ready before I started up the filling. Fred, of course, couldn’t resist sneaking a taste of the filling once it was almost done, and I swatted at him with a wooden spoon as he dodged. “Eh, no use in that! I’ve been dodging mum’s spoon for years!” he giggled mischievously as he darted off into his room, leaving me to shake my head as I continued stirring for a few minutes more before I loaded up the filling into the little individual pie crusts and stuck them in the oven. It was a pretty simple dinner, really, and I cleaned up the flour off of the counter and washed the used dishes before I wandered back into my own room, intent on practicing a few spells before I ate.

 

I was able to properly summon a book to me using _Accio_ , and I had to admit it might be my favourite spell, especially working in the warehouse. The twins usually used it to get things off of high shelves, but I’d had to resort to climbing and balancing to get whatever was needed. This made my job loads easier, along with _Wingardium Leviosa_ for the extra heavy boxes. I was also able to use _Alohomora_ to unlock a small chest, though sometimes it took a few tries to properly execute. The wand movement was a little tricky at times, especially having to keep all the separate wand movements straight. I didn’t know how other witches and wizards did it, but I supposed if you grew up learning it, it was probably easier than starting late. I was determined, however, and I practiced it several times until I could do it on the first try, and I considered that good effort for the night. My head was starting to hurt, and from the smell of it the meat pies were almost done. I opened my door to see that Fred was already peaking at them. I smirked and, wand still in hand, threw a little jelly-legs jinx at him that I’d found in a basic spell book that Sirius had given me.

 

He cried out and flailed his arms as his legs wobbled before he crashed to the floor. Whipping around, he saw me standing in my doorway, smirking, and he let out a loud, barking laugh. When he finally regained composure and took the jinx off of himself, he said, “Ay, I was just checking on them for you! Thought you might be practicing, didn’t want you to get too focused and forget!”

 

I raised an eyebrow, not sure if the mischievous twin was really telling the truth, and he sighed, rolled his eyes, and admitted, “Fine, maybe I was gonna sneak one if they were almost done.”

 

I smiled, triumphant, as I crossed the kitchen floor and opened the oven door to check on them myself. They needed a few minutes more still, but it was close enough that I grabbed the plates and set the table for us while Fred poured us some Butterbeer, a nice, sweet accompaniment to the extra savory dish. One more check, and they were close enough to done for me, so I switched off the oven and folded a towel to take them out of the oven, not quite trusting my _Wingardium Leviosa_ yet … at least, not for moving a nice dinner that was starting to make my mouth water. Fred immediately grabbed one of the pies and instantly regretted it, juggling it all the way to his plate. His look of triumph when he managed to drop it in the plate and not on the floor however, had me chuckling as I fetched my plate before I reached for a pie. By the time I joined him, he was already digging in, moaning and rolling his eyes as he bit into the still-warm pie. I pulled out my parchment and wrote, _Worth the wait?_

 

He winked at me. “Always.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so, so sorry for the delay in updating. I was having some plotting issues, but thought that I would be able to come back to it after April's Camp NaNo ... but I didn't. And then before I knew it July's Camp NaNo was here and I wasn't writing during that time in favour of researching for a long fix-it fic I'm planning and ... yeah.

“Good! Again!” Hermione encouraged, watching as I transfigured a mouse into a cup and back again. She had come highly recommended to help coach me through different disciplines of magic to prepare for the NEWTS and when I had sent her an owl asking if she would be willing to help, she’d sent back an enthusiastic reply almost immediately.

 

Fred had rolled his eyes when I’d told him she would be instructing me, and when I had asked why, if she wasn’t really up to snuff as others said, he laughed and shook his head. “Oh no, she’s great, alright. Just a bit stick in the mud sometimes.”

 

Well that made no never mind to me, and I was desperate to make strides in my magic since I’d finally unlocked the secret to silent spellcasting. I had briefly met her before at the Burrow, and she seemed nice enough, and indeed she was as we met up in the back of the store. Since I had so strictly organized the stock, we’d ended up with a small area where there was no stacked products at all, and it was there was we practiced just in case a spell went wrong. She was very patient with me and helpful, though she kept a close, critical eye on my wand movements. She even taught me how to use my want to draw letters in the air, negating the need for me to carry parchment everywhere as I could simply use my wand to write what I wanted to say. It was definitely the most helpful practical spell I’d learned yet.

 

After a few more turns with basic transfiguration, she had me move on to more and more complex forms of the spell, and while there was a bit of a learning curve, I seemed to recover well. I was feeling much more confident in myself, like I wasn’t just some castaway from Wizarding society, but a real Witch in my own right. I still missed the camaraderie and experiences that others had gotten by going to Hogwarts and having a formal education, but if I could just pass my NEWTS then I felt that all the struggles and strife I had gone through would at least have been worth it in some way. At least, that’s what I told myself. In the dark hours of the night, when I would toss and turn, there sometimes seemed little difference, at least in how I felt. Dark dreams still haunted me at times, robbing me of sleep and making any work I had to do the next day seem to stretch onward forever. Every couple of steps forward I took, I recanted with a step back, trading larger victories with small defeats. I did my best to cling to those victories, allow them to reassure me that it wouldn’t be like this forever. Some day I wouldn’t go to bed worrying if I would have nightmares or not, some day I would function day to day just as everyone else did. Some day I would find my voice and talk and converse like everyone else. I just had to wait … just as I had waited for years to get out from under the thumb of my step-father. Was I simply doomed to wait forever, in some way? It certainly seemed like it.

 

“Excellent!” Hermione exclaimed. “I think that’ll be all for today. If you keep progressing like this, you’ll be ready to take your NEWTS this year!”

 

Smiling, I waved my wand and formed the words, _Thank you. Same time tomorrow?_

 

“Yes, same time. I’ll see you then!” All of a sudden, she hugged me tightly and whispered, “I’m so proud of your progress, Rue, you’re doing so well!”

 

And with that she was gone, and in her wake was a warm, tender feeling in my chest. I was sure that my cheeks were flushed from the comment as well. I had been so rarely paid compliments while growing it, it was still strange to me, like an entirely foreign concept. Not that I didn’t like it, it was just strange all the same. That was one of the smaller reasons I worked so hard and long on my spellcasting and techniques, just to hear praise from someone. It was so lovely, like a nice balm being soothed over a harsh wound.

 

Making my way up the steps, I opened the door to the apartment I shared with Fred and closed it softly. Fred had already eaten and likely gone to bed, so I fixed myself a quick meal before retiring, myself. There, in the gloom of the darkened night, I pulled the covers up and all around me in some attempt to cocoon myself and hopefully stave off any unseemly dreams. I hated having nightmares, feeling trapped and helpless and filled with fear. Sometimes, it felt like if I wrapped the blankets around me tight enough, it kept the nasty dreams at bay. Maybe it was true, maybe it wasn’t, but I took no chances as I tucked myself in tightly.

 

It seemed tonight, however, that would not hold true, as it wasn’t long after I finally drifted off that they started to set in. Visions of my leering step-father as I caught sight of him around every corner, running seemingly in slow motion as I tried to get away from him, losing myself in a sudden maze that had sprouted up around me. Terrified, I kept whipping around to check the immediate area as I kept moving, determined to keep out of his grasp, but thorns from the surrounding bushes kept grabbing at my clothes and making me have to stop and untangle myself before I could keep running. The whole time, I heard my step-father’s dangerous chuckle in the background, a constant sound that ratcheted up my terror the closer it sounded. Ripping my clothes from the thorns I desperately started to run, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t run fast enough and along with his dangerous laugh I heard his hard footsteps echo behind me. I couldn’t see him yet, but I couldn’t give up, not now, not yet. All of a sudden, I stumbled out of the maze and into Diagon Alley, but it was cold and abandoned. _Where is everybody?_

 

Stumbling, I ran toward the general direction of the Weasley’s shop. I had a feeling that if I could just make it in the shop I would be safe, but at the same time I felt like I was swimming in molasses, my movements were so slow. Hearing that gruff voice behind me spurred me on, and I finally made it to the front door, grasping the handle as I turned it and pushed desperately. It wouldn’t give, however, no matter how hard I pushed, and I pounded on the door hoping that Fred was upstairs and would hear me. My luck had completely run out, however, as I felt his hand close around my shoulder like a vice, trapping me. Despite the hopelessness, I didn’t give up, struggling against him and swinging my free arm, trying to fend him off. Ignoring my pitiful blows, he leered in my face, his rancid breath overwhelming me as he sneered, “You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.” Snatching me from my feet he started dragging me back down the street, and I let loose a yelp, hoping that someone, somewhere would hear the struggle and come help me. It all seemed for naught, as no matter what he simply kept dragging me down until he pulled me into Knockturn Alley, the environment becoming darker and more sinister. The earth around us seemed to rock and we both tumbled to the ground as everything went topsy turvy. I was finally able to yank from his grasp but the world around me continued to shake until I was finally ripped away from everything.

 

I gasped, blinking rapidly as the world settled back down around me and came into focus. The small red blur in front of me materialized into Fred. “Hey, you alright?” he asked, his voice low. My immediate reaction was to sit up and try to push him away, embarrassed at the state he’d found me in, but the nightmare was still strong in the forefront of my mind and I couldn’t hide the fact that I was visibly upset. Instead of going along with me and leaving me alone as I pushed him away, he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Whatever you were dreaming, it wasn’t real. It’s alright, I promise.” Unable to fight him, I gave him, still trembling from the after affects of the dream. I couldn’t bring myself to feel any more ashamed at the situation as we sat there, wrapped around each other, until I had finally calmed down. When I finally got back to a place where I thought I might be able to sleep, instead of leaving me, Fred slipped into the bed with me. “Sometimes it’s best not to be left alone. George got hurt pretty bad once in a fight with a Death Eater, lost a good bit of his ear. He couldn’t sleep in peace for weeks after, but it was better when he shared a bed with me.” He threw a small smile at me. “So don’t worry, I’m the dream whisperer, you’ll sleep just fine next to me.”

 

I wasn’t sure what to make of Fred Weasley, but as we both laid back in the bed, his arm draped lightly over me, I felt safe enough to trust him, to trust in him. And whether what he said was true or it was just my expectations or just plain luck, the rest of the night passed in a deep, dreamless sleep.


End file.
